How to eat an ostrich egg

Remember that one time when we spontaneously went to an ostrich farm? And remember how we bought an ostrich egg? Well, we finally started eating it.

I say "started" because dudes, ostrich eggs are massive, and there is no way I was going to eat the equivalent of twenty-four chicken eggs in one sitting. What do I look like...Gaston?

Please.

I did eat some of it, though. And now that I've done it, I've compiled a handy how-to guide for getting the goods out of their shell and into your belly. You know, just in case you ever find yourself in possession of an ostrich egg. As one sometimes does.

Step one: Carefully drill a tiny hole in one end of the egg.

Step two: Chisel a hole into the other end. If you're fortunate, the folks who sold or gave you the egg will have scored it for easier chiseling. If not, you may want to do that yourself. It helped immensely.

Step three: Scrape away any residual egg chips. You don't want to accidentally eat them.

Step four: Break the membrane (which is surprisingly tough!) and stir your egg up a bit.

Step five: Blow through the tiny drill hole so the egg comes out the larger hole. You'll want to have a bowl or something to catch the egg as it comes out. Obvs.

Also, be sure to choose a large enough bowl. Ours ended up being just barely sufficient. We thought it was all out but the egg juice kept on a-comin'. Beware the overflow.

Step five: Stir it up better than we did. I ended up making German pancakes with some of it (recipe below!) and the ratio of yolk to white was such that they didn't puff up as much as I'd hoped. It doesn't matter as much if you're just scrambling it (which I intend to do later this week for stuffing breakfast burritos) but if you're using it in a recipe that doesn't call for 24 whole eggs, you may want to try for a more even mixture before subbing in ostrich egg.

For the record, it's delicious. Tastes like chicken...eggs.

Ostrich Egg German Pancake

2 tablespoons butter
1 1/2 cups ostrich egg (or 6 chicken eggs)
1 cup flour
1 cup milk

Note: This recipe is SUPER easy to adjust depending on how many people you're feeding. I usually do 2/3 (4 eggs, 2/3 cup flour and milk, in an 8x8 pan) but that's almost not enough for us these days. Mila really likes these and will eat nearly two eggs worth of it on her own. Scale up or down as needed.

Place butter in a 9x13 pan (or something similar) and set in oven. Preheat oven--with butter and pan inside--to 400. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together egg, flour, and milk. You could also mix them in a blender or with a hand mixer or whatever. Just make sure they're pretty well-combined.

If your butter is all melted by now (it should be), pour the egg mixture into the pan. Bake for 15 minutes or until edges are puffed up and middle is set. Serve with syrup or fruit or whatever else suits your fancy.