On Marriage: An Interview with Mikaela of "All Things Bright and Beautiful"

Remember the series on marriage I started back in September? I had several dear friends and bloggers I admire fill out the same questionnaire about marriage and posted them during that month and beyond...and then I stopped. Well, it's time to start that back up again! 

I loved reading different perspectives on what makes a strong marriage. The creeper busybody anthropologist in me enjoyed getting a peek into some healthy relationships, since so much of what is portrayed in the media is unrealistic, to say the very least. I'm all about keeping it real, folks.

Today we're hearing from Mikaela, who blogs over at "All Things Bright and Beautiful." She knows that life isn't always shiny and happy, but she sure finds a way to put a bright, beautiful spin on things. I love the weekly pictures she posts of her darling man cub, I love her beautiful words and images, and most of all I love her positive attitude. Welcome, Mikaela!

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Tell us a little about your family!

Dallin and I met at an ultimate frisbee game. I like to think that my mad skills won his love… even though that is probably an exaggeration. Whatever the case may be, we sparked a great friendship and started officially “dating” a few months after that. We have been married for just a few days shy of 3 years and have one little boy named Eli who is almost a year old.

Dallin is a pharmacist (or as I refer to him, a drug dealer… heh heh), and I get to stay at home with Eli — something I am very grateful for! We love to do anything outside, especially canyoneering, hiking, and ultimate frisbee. We also really enjoy traveling, making (and eating) food together, and just plain hanging out with each other as much as we can. 

What first made you decide Dallin was “the one”?

Whenever I am asked this question, I think about the time we had our first kiss. It was just about as unromantic as it could possibly be. You can read all about it here, but long story short it ended with me cuddling with the toilet as I barfed up my dinner. Oh baby. That’s hot, right? After that lovely escapade, I didn’t think he would ever want to see me again, and to be honest I really wouldn’t have blamed him for feeling that way after having his girlfriend respond to his romantic gesture by puking her guts out… haha! And yet he still called me the next day! It’s a pretty comical example, but the fact that he still liked me just the same after such an unattractive, embarrassing experience meant a lot to me. I appreciated that I could be my unfiltered, dorky, silly self around him and didn’t feel like I needed to change anything for him to like me more. I felt like I was my best self when I was around him (you know, minus the vomiting… ha!), and that my “best self” just kept getting better the longer I knew him. 

Why is he still “the one”?

He’s still “the one” because he always, always, always makes me happy. He is the biggest goofball and he keeps me laughing every day. He balances out my crazy, understands me better than anyone else, and takes good care of me in every way. Life is just so much better with him around, you know? He also loves our little babe so much and it just about makes my heart explode to see them together. 

What do you love most about being married in general? What do you love most about your marriage specifically?

Man, I could go on and on about this one. Being married is pretty much the sweetest setup. Not only to I get to see my bestest buddy every day, but our entire lives are entwined together. I always have someone to pick up my slack, scratch that itch on my back I can’t reach, cheer me up when I need it, and snuggle with every day. It is so satisfying to do all those things for Dallin in return too. Being a wife gives me the opportunity to make him happy every day, and that is so fulfilling. 

What is one of the most difficult things you’ve had to overcome in your marriage?

The first weeks and months after having my baby were really difficult. In addition to adjusting to life with a newborn, which is hard enough in itself, I got some postpartum depression that was pretty bad at times. That was hard on both of us. Dallin always tells me that he is happy as long as I am happy, so obviously when I was depressed it made him sad too. Nothing except time really helped alleviate it completely, but there were lots of things Dallin did to make life easier for me, and in the end I think it strengthened our relationship. I’m thankful for that.

What kinds of things do you do (or have you done) to strengthen your relationship?

We make it a point to be with each other as much as possible, whether it is to go out on our weekly date or just run to the store because I forgot to get milk. We also try to do simple acts of service for each other every day. For example, we share an electric toothbrush and after Dallin brushes his teeth he always swaps his head out for mine so it is ready for me. It’s such a simple gesture, but it makes me happy every time!

  

If you could give any marital advice, what would it be?

Make each other’s happiness your priority, and be willing to make sacrifices to do so. For example, Dallin really enjoys canyoneering and hiking. I haven’t had a chance to go since having our baby, and that means he often goes without me, sometimes for several days at a time. Even though I miss him when he is gone (and occasionally feel a wee bit jealous), it makes him happy, and seeing him happy makes me happy in return. Happiness all around! 

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This right here: "Our entire lives are entwined together." I love it. From the way Mikaela describes it, you can tell she's not talking about codependency, but a desire to support and build each other up, to meet each other's needs, and to be happy together. I know I'll be thinking about how to create an entwined life for a while.

And aren't they just the cutest family of gingers you ever did see? Thanks for sharing with us, dear!