Just some stuffs so you know I'm still here

Lack of photos notwithstanding, I feel like I should post something. Partly because I've really enjoyed getting into a habit of blogging almost daily, and partly because I'm afraid that if I don't make my presence known people will jump to the conclusion that I'm in labor and on my way to the hospital.

Because that's really not happening. At all. Not even a little bit.

(Not for lack of wishing and praying that it were otherwise. Why won't this baby just GET THE HECK OUT OF ME?)

Here's what is happening, though:

David is sick. I may know in my heart of hearts that he didn't purposely go out and lick elevator buttons in order to catch a cold just as I'm about ready to give birth, but dangit, could this be worse timing? Because now Mila is catching it--she's already all snot-faced and asked to take a nap nearly two hours earlier than she usually goes down--and I just know I'm next on the list. The last thing I need is to be sick AND trying to figure out all that newborn stuff again. Blerg.

Also, you know that photo that kept making the internet rounds, where there's a naked pregnant belly and a baby foot pressed against the skin from the inside? The one that's completely unrealistic, because hello, there is a bit more than just a thin layer of skin between baby and the outside world (thank goodness) so there's no way you'd be able to see a foot in that much detail. (It's this one, if you really don't know what I'm talking about.)

Well, Cletus keeps sticking her foot out and I can see this little knob protruding from my right side and it's not precious like the picture makes it seem like it would be. IT IS TERRIFYING. My belly's frequent resemblance to a kraken roiling about on the surface the sea is weird enough, but that tiny lump that keeps randomly poking out is just plain disturbing.

Lest you think I'm complaining, know this: I love being pregnant. I just also love NOT being pregnant too, and having spent the last 270 days of my life growing a person in my abdomen, I'm very much looking forward to not doing that for a while.

And, in totally unrelated news, I was greatly amused by the graffiti on the curly slide at the park by our house this morning. It said, in cutesy, bubbly girl handwriting: "Michael has a small dinky weenie. :)" Emoticon included. I about died laughing. No profanity and obscene pictures in our neighborhood, no sir. Just multiple adjectives and baby talk euphemisms.

I love where we live.