Nothing can come of nothing...

Orange you supposed to ask first?*

2012-02-10T16:24:00.004-07:00

It's citrus season. Our neighborhood is dotted with orange and grapefruit and lemon trees, and as the season wears on, our neighbors' lawns are becoming dotted with more and more overripe oranges and grapefruits and lemons.

That's the thing about citrus trees. They always produce more fruit than you need. You pick a few grapefruits to eat with your breakfast or a big bowlful of tangerines to snack on. Eventually you get sick of that tangy juice and still that dang tree keeps a-goin'. So you offer citrus to your friends and family, but of course they have their own trees and are dealing with their own bumper crops. Inevitably that fruit will fall and rot and get run over by the lawn mower.

Best smell ever, by the way: fresh cut grass mixed with the occasional rogue orange.

I've considered asking my neighbors if I could harvest some of their citrus since I know they're never going to use it all. But I always feel a little weird and shy about it. I chicken out and never ask and citrus season ends and we all move on with our lives.

I saw a lady walking down our street today with a grocery bag in hand. She stopped at every house with branches hanging over the curb, looked for a ripe fruit to pick, casually put it in her bag, and kept walking.

Is that totally creepy and wrong, or totally brilliant and so so right?

* WORST. PUN. EVER. But I just couldn't resist. Forgive me?

On Writing

2012-02-09T10:37:00.003-07:00

We've been editing essays for an upcoming issue of Segullah over the last couple weeks. I've also started archiving a more recent issue to make it available online. Last night, immersed in a little bit of both projects and overwhelmed with the lives people live and the stories they somehow manage to tell, I was struck with a thought.

I can write. I'm pretty good at it, really. I just don't often know what to write about. Or feel motivated to spend time doing it. Or have the confidence to share what I've written if I ever do.

But if these women can write, so can I. Right?

So maybe, whether I'm ready for it or not, I should start working on some personal essays. I should write about my ongoing quest to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Or what it is like to be a tall girl in a short man's world. Or how I'd like to reform sex education. (Hint: it involves sending kids to boys- or girls-only pre-puberty day camp. IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN. Also educational.) Or the time God put a giant spider in my bathroom to punish me for skipping church and going swimming instead. Or my efforts to help Mila develop a healthy relationship with food and her body by trying to help myself and the people around me do the same. Or that blueberry yogurt barf incident. Or Mila's birth story, which I've been meaning to jot down since, oh, eight months ago, but somehow just haven't ever done it.

I have plenty of stories to tell. So what if most of them aren't particularly tragic or profound or politically important. They're important to me, which means they might be important to someone else. And I have the talent it takes to tell them.

So I think I'm going to.

Mila Monday: Thirty-six Weeks

2012-02-06T14:11:00.003-07:00

She likes to hold herself up to look out the window.
There are exciting things out there, you know.

Being Bold

2012-02-03T19:37:00.004-07:00

This is a photo from my 30 for 30. I don't have one of today's outfit, which was just a variation on this theme: brown skirt, blue shirt, boots and tights.

Today's challenge was to do something that scares you. I'm pretty plain vanilla when it comes to clothes, so there are about a million and one fashion things that scare me. Red pants. Heels with jeans. Animal prints. I know, I'm lame. But I wanted to make sure I did something that didn't necessitate a trip to the mall to buy something I'd never wear again because it freaked me out too much. So my options were limited.

As soon as I made plans to be in the 'slow today, though, I knew exactly what I was scared to do.

I was scared to wear a skirt on a Friday for no good reason in my hometown.

See, Winslow is a casual, non-fashion-forward place, as I'm sure most small towns are. Most people stick to the jeans-and-t-shirt equation in some form or another. Growing up I would NEVER have worn a dress I didn't have a dang good reason for it. Church and prom were pretty much it.

I knew if I wore a skirt--on a Friday, for no good reason--that my family would have something to say about it. "Well don't you look fancy!" and "Look at you all dressed up!" and the like. Nothing rude or unkind, of course, but certainly something to draw attention to the fact that I wasn't wearing pants and how weird that is. It was going to be uncomfortable for me.

I did it anyway. I wore a skirt. All day. And there were several comments, just as I'd expected. And I felt awkward. But I got over it. Sorry there are no photos to prove it. AGAIN. But I did want to share. Because I'm super proud of myself for being brave enough to wear a skirt. On a Friday. For no good reason.

Best coat ever.

2012-02-01T15:43:00.001-07:00

Lest you think I've abandoned yet another project I committed to, know this: I have totally been participating in Kayla's style challenge this week.

On Monday, I chose the nineteen-aughts(ish) for my decade and went all Anne of Green Gables with puffy sleeves and updid hair. I even rolled up the sleeves of a v-neck t-shirt to make a waistcoat of sorts. It was not something I would have normally worn, and written out like this it sounds kind of heinous, but it wasn't. Pretty sure Lydia can vouch for that.

On Tuesday, I wore bright colors as instructed. Since that was hardly a stretch for me, I paired two colors--bright peach (for lack of a better way to describe it) and peacock blue--that I would not have typically put together. It worked, and I was happy to have broken out of yet another clothing rut.

But here's the thing: I have no photographic evidence of either outfit.

I just never got around to taking pics. I was busy making these bad boys for the second time in a week. And rolling around on the floor with Mila. And running to the mall for my biannual visit to the Clinique counter. And cracking up at Schmidt on "New Girl."And hanging out with my visiting teachers and their kiddos. You know. Nothing particularly earth-shattering, but it's my life and it's busy and it's the reason I never took pictures of my outfits.

Which is fine with me.

And much as I really really REALLY want to, I'm not wearing--or dressing up--my coat today. Because it's too dang warm for that. *grumble grumble stupid Phoenix winter grumble* But I love my coat and if I wasn't afraid of death by heat stroke, I would be wearing it right this very minute. Instead, I've got short sleeves and bare feet and the windows are open to let a breeze in. I can't decide if it's lovely or depressing.

David knew I'd been lusting after this coat for almost a decade but could never bring myself to pay upwards of $350 for it. Then it went on super sale AND he found a coupon for like an extra 30% off PLUS free shipping... Point is, he bought my dream coat for me because he is the best husband in the whole world. And even though I'm not wearing it today, I do have photographic evidence of its existence and its awesomeness.

Check it.

I doubt it counts for today's style prompt, but I'm linking up anyway because a) I want folks to know that I'm still playing along and b) people should totally be jealous. Of the coat and the husband. Because both are rad.

Mila Monday: Thirty-five Weeks

2012-01-30T12:02:00.003-07:00

Well, I'm eight months old today.
You'd think by now the paparazzi would be over me. But no. They just won't let a girl relax. Not even on her birthday.
All this incessant photo-snapping...
...I try to be a good sport about it...
...but it's enough to drive a person crazy!

Pattern Mixing

2012-01-27T19:45:00.000-07:00

This cardigan of mine? It's mostly Freddy Kreuger, with a hint of Brobee and a dash of Fiona's lovely hairy jumper. It's a loud fuzzy beast and I think it's kind of awesome. But I don't wear it very often. That's partly because of the loudness, but also a little bit because I think David secretly hates it.
But when I made the bold choice to pair it with a potentially eye-searing shirt today, I discovered I'd created an outfit that both meets Kayla's style challenge AND apparently hypnotizes babies.
SCORE.

shirt: Old Navy / cardiga: gift (Gap) / belt: Kohl's / jeans: Gap

Channeling Hermione

2012-01-26T16:34:00.000-07:00

I could say I chose to use Hermione Granger as my outfit inspiration today because I have a deep and abiding love for Harry Potter. (The book series, of course, not the person. Although he's cool too. My true HP loves are Fred and George Weasley, but that's neither here nor there.)
I could say that.
But let's be honest. I was just looking for an excuse to have "bushy hair."

sweater: Gap / skirt: LOFT / belt: Gap / tights: Target / shoes: Payless

Trendy? Question mark?

2012-01-25T15:35:00.000-07:00

In non-clothing news, I have a new niece! My little sister is a mom! Huzzah! So weird and exciting and I just can't wait to see sweet little Olivia and kiss her tiny face.

*

On the clothing front, today was yet another difficult prompt for the 10 day challenge. THANKS A LOT KAYLA. Way to make me think outside my boring clothing box. You are so mean.

I don't own anything furry or sequined. I'm not really a fan of wide-legged pants but I don't have any skinny jeans either. Animal prints kind of freak me out, and the one thing in my closet with dots on it is too small and may be getting repurposed or donated soon. I am apparently the least trendy person of 2012.*

So I threw half my wardrobe onto the bed to see what I could come up with. An hour of playing dress-up yielded some pretty basic results:
A top knot/ballerina bun, brightly colored skinny belt, half-tucked-in blousey shirt, red lips, and earrings that could sort of be considered neon or Navajo-ish (because apparently that's cool now?) but aren't really either, which is fine by me.
Maybe not super on-trend but it'll do. And I feel surprisingly cute for being so much out of my comfort zone, which I feel is the bigger victory.

shirt: Ann Taylor / jeans: Gap / belt: Old Navy
shoes: Famous Footwear / earrings: made by my lovely sister-in-law Anna

*Official award pending.

Monochrome

2012-01-24T21:15:00.000-07:00

Ugh. Today's outfit was way harder for me than it should have been. Would you believe I have zero pairs of colored pants? Unless brown counts, because I do have some brown pants. Everything else is blue jeans. My skirt situation isn't much better. Half of my skirts are either black, mostly black, or sort of black. The others are mostly varying shades of blue or brown. It's sad, really. It's also definitely time to stop relying on tops and tights for adding color to my wardrobe.

I did try to put together an all green ensemble, and despite the fact that it wasn't terrible altogether, I kept hearing a thirteen-year-old Shawn Mead calling me the Jolly Green Giant in my head. Old wounds, you know. It's hard being six feet tall in eighth grade!

So I ditched the green. And while black or blue probably would have been easier, I ultimately decided to go with brown. I tried to play up the orangeness of the skirt (because it is such an orangey brown) by adding the scarf. Not sure it works. You tell me.

I really do not know what is happening with my bangs here.

Mila did the sensible thing and worked with what she had: pink on pink on pink. Monochrome is so easy for little girls.
Side note: I really need to start taking pictures before the sun goes down. Taking pictures in the carport is kind of depressing.

sweater: American Eagle / scarf: gift / skirt: ASOS / boots: Nordstrom / tights: Target

Layers

2012-01-23T19:38:00.000-07:00

When I saw that the prompt for today was "Layers" I REALLY wanted to wear some open-weave tights over solid colored ones. Problem is, I don't own any open-weave tights. And while I had planned to go to Kohl's on Saturday to buy some with a gift card that's been languishing unused in my purse, we ended up going to Lowe's to buy a dishwasher instead.

Not the same.

So while today's outfit is not nearly as cool as I'd hoped it would be, at least I'm not washing all our dishes by hand anymore. Hooray for modern technology!

P.S. Mila and I went to Kohl's today to get those tights I didn't get a chance to buy on Saturday. Because the seven or eight pairs I already own just aren't sufficient for my needs. Because, you know, it's SO COLD here.

Am I allowed to be annoyed that it's like 70 degrees in January?

shirt: Gap / t-shirt: Urban Outfitters / jeans: Gap / shoes: Famous Footwear

Mila Monday: Thirty-four Weeks

2012-01-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

She's teething again, which means I'm not sleeping again. Or rather, I'm sleeping in three hour increments.
And she has recently discovered that her voice has both volume and pitch, which means now, in addition to being clingy and drooly and wanting to nurse all day, she expresses her pain and frustration by shrieking and squealing.
However, she is still sleeping for three hour stretches at night--as opposed to not sleeping at all--and will quickly nurse back to sleep after wakening. And her own noise-making seems to entertains her, so she frequently leaves off yelling about hurty gums and takes up babbling or squawking in amusement instead.
And honestly, I don't mind nursing her off and on all day. It won't be much longer before I don't get to nurse her at all, so I'm soaking in as much cuddle time as I can while it lasts.

A few things

2012-01-20T09:28:00.002-07:00

1) I'm bored of this blog. I've been writing here for nearly six years and I'm just feeling done with it. Not that I don't still get a weird kick out of posting my word vomit on the internet, and not that I don't have some great stories I want to share, because I do. (You know you want to hear about the time Amelia became a veritable geyser of blueberry yogurt. You know you do.) I'm just not sure this is the venue for it anymore. Weekly pictures of my kid aside, I don't feel nearly as compelled to update things anymore, and I really only do that because I know there are aunties and uncles and grandparents who eagerly anticipate Mila Mondays.

I'm thinking of going in a new direction, blogging-wise, and I've been working on some concrete ideas to make it fun for me again. Problem is I'm not sure whether to make them a continuation of this site or start fresh with an entirely new one. Do I shut down "nothing can come of nothing?" Do I keep it up and only do Mila Mondays here while posting other stuffs elsewhere? If you have any input, please share.

2) Kayla over at Freckles in April is doing a 10-Day Challenge starting next week. It's in the same vein as the 30 for 30 I did in November, in that it makes you think about and be a little more creative with your clothing choices, but it's more official and lots of people will be participating. I'm joining in, mostly because I liked the other challenge and because I need a reason to blog (see #1 above). So there will be posts next week and the week after, at the very least. That will be a pleasant change from the void this blog has been for the last month or so.

3) David and I will be having a Fancy February this year. (I don't know what it is about February, but it always seems to inspire us to create a theme and run with it. Last year we watched a bunch of post-apocalyptic movies. It was awesome.) We want to incorporate fancier clothes, fancier foods, and fancier words into our lives for a month. Also we'd like to have a fancy dinner party at the end of it. Think hats and monocles and ridiculous dresses and the like. Mostly it will be obnoxious and pretentious, but also I think it will be really silly and fun. I'll keep you updated in one way or another as details unfold.

4) Because this is kind of a lame post, here's an awesome picture of Mila to brighten your day.

Mila Monday: Thirty-three Weeks

2012-01-16T10:08:00.002-07:00

This little jacket is so stinking cute.
She looks like Little Red Riding Hood.

Alas, though, for when I put it on her this morning I realized it's a smidge too small. Which is to be expected, since it's size 3 months. But still. I was sad that she didn't get to wear it more than a couple times. Isn't that how it goes with baby clothes, though? One day it fits her perfectly and the next she's busting seams like the incredible Hulk.
And making goofy faces that make me want to just eat her up.

Mila Monday: Thirty-two Weeks

2012-01-09T15:44:00.003-07:00

Baby's first trip to the zoo!

David's mom got us a membership to the Phoenix Zoo, so I foresee this being the first of many zoo adventures this year. Today we were accompanied by my dear race-of-Josephy friend LJ and her little lumberjack Hyrum.
We walked and chatted nonstop and saw zebras and giraffes (giravves?) and elephants and orangutans and a big ol' rhino, and it was all so exciting that Mila fell asleep. I couldn't have asked for a lovelier afternoon.

Thanks for the fun day, guys!

Mila Monday: Thirty-one Weeks

2012-01-03T12:41:00.003-07:00

Today is Tuesday and this picture was taken on Sunday, but the name of the series is Mila Monday so we shall just have to pretend.

Of all the pictures taken at my parents' house this weekend, this is one of my favorites. Not because of the cute baby and the handsome guy holding her, but because of my brother's accidental photo bomb.
Dear Brad,

You look like a pufferfish and I'm posting it for all the internet to see. Because that's what big sisters do. Love you!

Jen

P.S. More holiday photos to come!

Svithing 2012: Fatty New Year!

2012-01-01T09:00:00.003-07:00

In December, I blogged about three things: Amelia, the end of my 30 for 30, and how grumpy or stressed out or frustrated I was with x, y, and/or z. The first two can't be helped, of course, but the third? I'm not okay with that. I don't want to miss out on feeling the Christmas spirit, or ruin a vacation, or put off playing with my baby because I'm obsessing over minutiae and coming up with endless complaints. I don't want to be that kind of girl.

But when I got to thinking about what the word of 2012 should be (see here, here, and here if you're unfamiliar with the word-of-the-year type resolutions I've started making) I kept remembering all the stuff that is already on the agenda. At least three trips. Two family reunions. Our goal to buy a house. The more I thought about it, the more I kept focusing on what I don't want to be this year. Overwhelmed. Irritable. Exhausted. Needy. Judgmental. Anxious. Nit-picky. Lazy. Worried. Hungry. Pretty much all the things I've been feeling lately, despite my strong desire to feel otherwise.

I started trying to come up with antonyms for some of these words. Peaceful. Content. Generous. Bold. Confident. Motivated. They're all good words but none of them was quite what I was looking for.

And then Isaiah popped into my head. Bless. He always knows just what to say to lift my spirits.

"Wherefore," he asked me, "do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness." (emphasis mine)

My life is full of fatness. A wonderful husband. A darling daughter. A large and loving extended family. Incredible friends. Delicious food. A comfortable home. Lovely possessions. Fun adventures to look forward to. The true and everlasting gospel of Jesus Christ. I have so so much. Why do I so often forget this and waste my time on "that which satisfieth not?"

Well, no more. This year I'm going to follow Isaiah's counsel. Seek out experiences that will enrich my life. Surround myself with kind, inspiring, hilarious people. Find precious jewels of truth in the scriptures. Eat tasty things until I'm full to bursting. Mostly just enjoy the many blessings I've been given and be grateful for the lessons I'm learning as I go.

I'm going to delight in fatness.

(Especially the fatness on this little ham. Delightful indeed!)

Simplicity: the word of the year in review

2011-12-31T07:49:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not remember, my word for 2011 was simplicity. (See here for further explanation and here for 2010's word.) I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want 2012's word to be, but haven't given much thought to how well I've kept to this theme this year. And since objectives are pointless unless they are meaningful and measurable, I thought I'd take a moment to reflect on the ways I've tried to simplify my life and whether or not it was a worthwhile endeavor.

January: I spent some time purging and cleaning our house, which felt REALLY good and is something I intend to make a regular first-of-the-year occurrence. Getting rid of unnecessaries and organizing what remains helped bring peace to my mind and to our home.

February: More organizing and cleaning, this time in Amelia's room. That has been an ongoing project, since baby stuff tends to explode all over the place. But I've been good about keeping the neverending flow of clothing that she's outgrown or will soon be able to wear in check, I've got cloth diaper laundering and storage down pat, and things haven't gotten too out of hand. Most of the time.

March: David acquired a job, which simplified my life immensely because it was the first time in nearly two years that we'd had a regular, decent-sized paycheck to budget from. And I quit my part-time job at the end of the month, which simplified my life because I was no longer working weird hours and driving long distances with a baby sitting on my bladder.

April: Honestly, I spent much of this month just enjoying my life. I had very few obligations. I wasn't so enormously pregnant (yet) that I felt too uncomfortable. I mostly just knitted and read and played and it was a really nice way to relax before giving birth.

May: Lots of nesting and last minute baby preparation. The only thing I recall doing to simplify my life was writing a birth plan and talking endlessly with David about what to expect and where to go and what to do and such when I eventually went into labor. Which was, of course, the highlight of the year. Not so much the labor bit, but the part right after where the baby came out and nothing else mattered because she was so so perfect and she was ours.

June: I spent a month reveling in new motherhood. Eating. Sleeping. Watching Amelia eat and sleep. Spending days at a time on the couch in our pajamas. It doesn't get much more simple than that. And honestly, how often does a person get the chance to do nothing but attend to life's most basic needs? We were safe and warm and snuggly. What more did we need?

July: I continued my weekly photo shoots with Amelia that I'd started when she was born. This was my way of ensuring that a) I had photos of her as she grew and developed and b) that I didn't go crazy overboard about taking said photos. I figured even if I only pulled out my camera once a week, I'd have a decent representation of what she was like as a baby without the hundreds of thousands of pictures that a lot of parents take of their firstborn. Granted, I still take dozens of shots each week, but I toss most of them. I really want to keep doing this with her and any subsequent children we have.

August: I discovered that I'm happier when I get out of the house every so often. So I figured out how to simplify the going-out process. Usually when we go out, I just take a stroller (which lives in the trunk of my car so I don't have to think about it), a toy and a blanket for Mila, and my purse. There's no need to bring more than that for most adventures. It's been quite liberating.

September: Not sure what I was up to in September, because blogging fell by the wayside. Which, I suppose, was my way of cutting out unnecessary stresses that month. At least that is what I'm going to tell myself. Oh, and I'm pretty sure I spent some time shopping end-of-summer sales for baby clothes for Mila to wear next year. Which will make life easier when things warm up and she outgrows all her winter stuff.

October: I began using Google Reader, which has both simplified my daily internet browsing and helped me spend less time online. THIS IS A VERY GOOD THING.

November: The infamous 30 for 30 took place, and I learned to be creative with a much smaller wardrobe than usual. It was probably one of the best attempts at simplification I made all year. I was tired of it by the end, but after a month of having my entire closet available and still not finding anything I want to wear on most days, I find myself wanting to take on another sartorial challenge soon. Maybe not a 30 for 30, but something else to simplify my clothing decisions and help me appreciate the things I already have.

December: We pared down our gift-buying, which I loved: the three of us each got something to wear, something to read, and something fun. This is another decision that really made a difference in my stress levels, and for that reason will likely become a holiday tradition for us.

All told, I did a pretty good job. I put some conscious effort into keeping things as simple as possible, and while it didn't always work out, I did have some noteworthy successes. Knowing that, I think I'm ready to put 2011 behind me. It was a very good year, but I've got a feeling 2012 is going to be delightful.

Mila Monday: Twenty-nine and Thirty Weeks

2011-12-26T16:15:00.002-07:00

I call last week's shot "Monday in the Chicago Art Institute with Mom."
Despite how disinterested she looks here, she really liked the impressionists.

And this is what we did to unwind after all our our holiday travels:
Oh, that face. *eye roll* She is becoming such a goofball.

Cheryling. No...Nancying. No...Ralphing.

2011-12-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

I'm really grateful Amelia is finally starting to sleep for longer stretches again, because the waking up every two hours throughout the night was getting really old. Oh, didn't I tell you? She's been doing that off and on for the last two months. It was killing me. And I need all the stamina I can get right now, because I am feeling ridiculously overwhelmed.

I realized this morning that I'm not so much stressed out about flying with a baby (your comments helped me feel much more confident about that, though, thank you!) as I am stressed out about the fairly last minute hotel and rental car arrangements we had to make. And a little sad about not having as much time as I'd like to see all the things I want to see in Chicago. And anxiously anticipating the approximately-36-hour window between coming home from Chicago and leaving for Winslow in which I will need to unpack, do laundry, repack, finish last minute Christmas shopping and gift wrapping, and feed the missionaries. And irritated that Mila's six month well baby visit--which is scheduled for the day after we get back from the 'slow--has been moved from our pediatrician's Mesa office to the one in Gilbert, which is three times as far away. And disappointed that I didn't have time to make Christmas gifts for my niece and nephew like I'd planned. And grumpy over David having to go on a last minute business trip to Maryland instead of helping me get us ready to leave on Sunday. And nervous for tomorrow because I foolishly committed to singing in sacrament meeting for the first time in forever. And unreasonably bothered by the fact that I still don't know what I'm going to wear to my cousin's wedding. Which may just be that proverbial straw on the proverbial camel's back, you know?

I keep listening to Christmas songs, hoping they will have a soothing influence on my increasing levels of anxiety. But instead of the "all is calm, all is bright" feeling, I keep looking at what's going on over the course of the next two weeks and feeling more like the dream sequence on that old Chipmunk Christmas record* where Clyde Crashcup tries to invent Christmas and "there was Abe Lincoln, sitting on a pumpkin being pulled by four elephants" and it's all weirdness and pandemonium.

I guess I just need to remember to breathe and enjoy the ride. And maybe watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas." I'm being the Charlie Browniest of Charlie Browns, taking a wonderful season like Christmas and turning it into a problem, and perhaps I need Linus to remind me what it's really all about.

Image source

*Please don't tell me you have no idea what I'm talking about because surely I'm not the only one who played that 45 incessantly as a child. "Romeo had his Juliet. Peanut butter had his jelly. And I had my harmonica." Great stuff, that.

Pre-travel Jitters

2011-12-14T10:10:00.003-07:00

Amelia likes to play with her ears. It used to worry me because everyone tells you that when babies pull on their ears it's because they have an ear infection. Several months ago, though, I called our pediatrician's office to talk to the triage nurse because it was starting to freak me out. She told me as long as baby is nursing and sleeping well, she is probably fine, since sucking and laying down would put pressure on a sore ear. With those words of wisdom in mind, I haven't given it much thought since, even though she still does it pretty often.

But then her nose was stuffy. And last night she started coughing. And the ear-playing increased. And because we are flying to Chicago in four days, I started panicking that she was getting a cold and an ear infection and we were terrible parents to even consider taking her on an airplane to a cold, wet, windy place because she was going to end up in the hospital with burst eardrums and RSV.

Anyway, I called the pediatrician this morning as soon as they were open, and within an hour an a half we had driven to Mesa, seen the doctor, been reassured that Amelia looks healthy but that if we needed to we could come back before Sunday to be sure, and come home for a snack and a nap.

The peace of mind was totally worth the $30 copay. If only my concerns about public transportation and staying warm were so easily assuaged...

I'm not usually this paranoid, I promise, but for some reason this trip has got me extra nervous about everything. I'm open to traveling-with-a-baby advice and/or reassurance that all shall be well if anyone's got any.

Amelia's first foray into solids about six weeks ago. Don't worry. She has since gotten a much-needed haircut.

Giving and receiving, as well as having and sharing

2011-12-13T09:49:00.000-07:00

Part of the magic of Christmas for me has always been knowing that there will be gifts--both to and from me--to open on December 25th, but this time around I seem to be much more fixated than I usually am.

In years past we have tended to go a bit overboard when it came to the gifting part of Christmas. I can't help myself; I love coming up with gifts that I know David will go nuts for. Plus I really REALLY like wrapping stuff. And for David's part, well he just really likes getting presents. So every year I end up buying and buying, and as he watches the packages pile up he starts feeling obligated to buy just as many things for me as I've bought for him, and before we know it we're drowning in gift wrap Christmas morning.

This year I decided something needed to be done because we were getting out of control. I imposed some regulations to keep us in check: each person gets something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. Period. Done. Except then David kept saying there wasn't anything he needed and I couldn't think of anything he needed either and he didn't even come up with a wishlist until like three days ago and I was getting frustrated at my inability to pin down the perfect present. So I came up with a new plan: we each get something to wear, something to read, and something fun. Three gifts instead of four. Easy enough.

When I suggested these updated rules to David, he said, "Sweet. So if I wait a little longer, will I only have to get you two presents? Or just one?" Which, I'll be honest, irked me more than a little. "Nobody's making you get me anything," I told him. "If you don't want to get me presents, that's fine."

Of course that's not true at all. If he didn't get me any Christmas presents I would be deeply offended. And he knows that.

But why am I so obsessed with the giving and receiving (and having...and sharing...) this year anyway? While I don't feel like I'm ignoring the Love and Joy and Peace On Earth and Baby Jesus In A Manger-ness of the season, I'm certainly not focusing on it as much as I ought, and I can't help blaming that on the fact that I have yet to find the perfect gift for my husband, which is kind of a stupid reason to be feeling so grinchy.

Sigh.

I need to sort out my priorities. And maybe get over my aversion to gift cards.

(A prize to the first person to correctly name the source of the title quote.)

Mila Monday: Twenty-eight weeks

2011-12-12T12:05:00.003-07:00

My new favorite face: two little teeth and a wrinkled-up nose.

Mila Monday: Twenty-seven weeks

2011-12-05T16:34:00.004-07:00

Little do they know, she thought slyly, that I'm about to poop so spectacularly that my mom will seriously consider breastfeeding me until I'm potty trained. Excellent.

Pretty much, I would have countered, had I known what was awaiting me in a few minutes' time. Either that or potty train you NOW so I never have to change another diaper for you again.

Moral of the story: solid-food-and-breastmilk poops that have been percolating for 48 hours are both impressive and foul beyond all foulness. THE MORE YOU KNOW

Wrapping up my 30 x 30

2011-12-02T10:25:00.000-07:00

First, some general stats and analysis thereof. (Percentages are out of 30 possible days, i.e. if I wore something once, I wore it 3% of the time.)
Most worn shoes: purple flats (27 %)
Least worn shoes: red chucks (3%) or grey heels (7%)

Most worn tops: grey stripes, navy, purple plaid, and the black and brown cardigans (13%)
Least worn tops: cream, goldenrod, and the red-orange and peacock cardigans (7%)

Most worn bottom: light jeans (23%)
Least worn bottom: white skirt (7%)

Pants available: 3 (37.5% of total bottoms), jeans=2 (25%)
Frequency of wearing pants: 15 (50%), jeans=12 (40%)

Favorite outfits: day 7, day 20, & day 25
Least favorite outfits: day 3, day 8, & day 23

Very little of this information surprises me. I am quite proud that I managed to not wear pants for half the month. I kind of love the goldenrod sweater and red-orange cardigan, so I'm a little sad I didn't wear them more often. I'll have to figure out how to work them into my clothing rotation more often. The purple plaid button-down was a bit unexpected, since I rarely wear it and only included it to see if I could get some use out of it. Turns out I like it better than I thought, and it works well with a lot of things. But the cream tee? Probably going away, along with the white skirt and coral cowl-necked shirt. I just don't love them as much as maybe I once did.

As for fulfilling the purposes of this experiment?

1) To regain some control in my life. While I don't know whether I regained any control, I was certainly made more aware of what I can control. Like how if I don't have to wear or not wear something just because it's easy or difficult to breastfeed in; I can just schedule our outings around Amelia's meals so I don't have to strip down while we're out and about. Or how heels don't just have to be Sunday shoes, because I can totally wear them (at least the sturdier, comfier ones) and go on adventures with a baby in tow. So there's that.

2) To get to know and feel good about myself. Well, I certainly felt cuter more often than usual since I was a) putting more effort into choosing my ensembles and b) fixing my hair and wearing makeup so my photos didn't look too heinous. I'm vain like that. I learned that some parts of my postpartum body are bigger than they used to be and other parts are smaller (Did anyone else's butt shrink after having kids? Anyone? It's SO WEIRD.) and my clothes don't all fit the way they once did but that's ok. I spent a lot of time looking at photos of this new version of me this month and you know what? I kind of like it.

3) To curb my shopping habit. This month I only bought one thing for myself, I waited till it was on sale and I had a coupon, and I haven't even taken it out of the box because I told David he could give it to me for Christmas. Ten points to Jen's willpower!

4) To assess my wardrobe. Done and done. I think it's time for me to acquire some non-jeans casual pants and maybe some more skirts like my brown one. I could've worn that thing and jeans exclusively all month and been completely happy. Also, I'd like to start working in more patterns that aren't stripes. A few of my 30 will be donated to Goodwill or DI soon, as mentioned before, and there are a handful of other things in my closet that I didn't miss at all and that I don't intend to keep any longer. This was by far the most helpful part of this experiment, and I'll probably be doing another 30 for 30 in a few months to see if my wardrobe is closer to where I'd like it to be.

5) To have fun. I refer you to this post so you can judge for yourself.

I deem this venture a successful one. I'm also open to any and all feedback from you guys. Did my 30 for 30 affect your sartorial choices at all this month? Did you have any favorite or least favorites among my many ensembles? Would you recommend I wear or not wear anything differently?

And as a reward for making it through this was a long dry post, here is Miss Mila, who turned six months on Wednesday.

The end.

2011-11-30T22:14:00.002-07:00

Day 30.

I made it. Whew.

Final thoughts tomorrow. Tonight I'm just happy to be finished and going to bed.

shirt: Anne Taylor / cardigan: Target / skirt: ASOS / belt: Gap / shoes: Famous Footwear

Fashion show at lunch!

2011-11-29T20:54:00.007-07:00

Oh man. This morning (or was it last night?) I realized that tomorrow is my last day of this 30 for 30 business and I was WAY behind on my outfit pics. I could make excuses but mostly it comes down to me preferring to put on my jammies and jump into bed instead of getting my picture taken. However, I am still as committed as ever and have really and truly stuck to my 30 items this month. To prove it to you, tonight I recreated every outfit I've missed after Amelia went to bed and made David play photographer. But since I'm only averaging about 2 hours of sleep at a time these days and because I struggle in front of cameras, things got a little...weird.

Day 21: Trying to not look uncomfortable and tired. FAIL.

Day 19: You can dance if you want to. You can leave your friends behind. Etc.

Day 28: I was just scratching my head and not paying attention when David took this and it is unfortunately the best shot of this outfit.

Day 26: What do ya do with a drunken sailor, what do ya do with a drunken sailor...

Day 27: I look like a deer in the headlights. In tights. Cute.

Day 14: This is my impression of an Asian exchange student. It might work better if I were tiny and cute instead of tall and spastic.

And this? This is Day 29. What I actually wore today. And I only look mildly weird wearing it.

So there you have it folks. Everything you've missed thus far and probably WAY more awkward photos of Jen than anyone needs to see in one sitting.

I almost feel like I'm drunk-dialing the internet. I'm totally going to regret posting these tomorrow, aren't I?

Mila Monday: Twenty-six Weeks

2011-11-28T20:16:00.003-07:00

Red Yellow & Blue

2011-11-25T19:15:00.003-07:00

Day 25.

It was a glasses kind of day. You know, the kind when you just want to be lazy and comfy and possibly take a nap. And eat leftovers. Lots and lots of leftovers. Pity there wasn't any chocolate pie left, but don't worry. There was still pumpkin cheesecake. It all worked out.

When I asked David what shoes I should wear, he kept suggesting pairs that weren't part of my 30. But the thought of wearing all three primary colors was too tempting. So the red chucks are my 30th item. It was about time I picked something anyway.

shirt: gift (or was it technically a hand-me-down?) / sweater: Gap / jeans: Gap / shoes: gift

It all boils down to this.

2011-11-24T18:15:00.004-07:00

Day 24.

I had excused myself to nurse Amelia while everyone else helped themselves to some post-Thanksgiving-feast pie, when I heard David's voice from the other room. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the two best things that have ever come into my life:

the tiny sweet girl who was grabbing at my nose as she ate and the wonderful man who has given me everything I ever wanted, tiny nose-grabber included.

I am so blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends.

shirt: Anne Taylor / cardigan: Express / jeans: Gap / boots: Nordstrom

Pre-Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T22:07:00.003-07:00

Day 23.

This is what I wore today. And this is what I did whilst wearing it. Lots of baking. Also tending a sad, teething baby.

I'm tired.

shirt: LOFT / skirt: Gap / apron: made by my sister-in-law Emily / awesome grandpa socks / no idea, but I love them and wear them ALL THE TIME

Under where?

2011-11-22T21:00:00.003-07:00

Day 22.

A real-life, five-minutes-ago David & Jen conversation:

"Buckwheat is singing in my head. 'Unce. Tice. Tee times a maybe.'"

"Well I have that one song, 'Somethin' summunuh hummah...I just made you say underwear...'"

"I totally know the one you mean."

"Those are the actual lyrics, you know."

"Sure. I'm just glad that the only part anyone really knows is the line about underwear."

"That's the only part that matters."

*silent tears of mirth*

cardigan: BR Outlet / tank: Target / scarf: Target / jeans: Gap / shoes: Famous Footwear

Mila Monday: Twenty-five weeks

2011-11-21T09:30:00.004-07:00

Guys.
I've got this thing. In my mouth. And it's all pokey and hurty. I don't know what's going on, but it's not cool, guys. Not cool at all.

(Outfit photos to come. I've got a couple days to catch up on now, but I am keeping track and will get to it soon.)

Svithing Motives

2011-11-20T21:21:00.000-07:00

Day 20.

To the people who wander the halls during Sunday meetings:

If you aren't even going to attempt to sit through sacrament meeting, Sunday school, or priesthood/Relief Society (whichever the case may be) why do you even come to church?

Because after not coming to church for a few weeks, then not being able to attend more than a few minutes of most meetings for several months, I've been thinking about why I even come to church. And I'll tell you this: it's not because it's easy or because I want to socialize.

So seriously. Why do you come to church if not to be at church?

shirt: J Crew / skirt: Banana Republic / boots: Nordstrom / belt: Gap / tights: Target / skirt pin: US Diplomatic Secret Service (The Commies can't have prime hip real estate EVERY time I wear this skirt. That hardly seems fair.)

Harry Potter and the Cacti of DOOM

2011-11-18T15:14:00.007-07:00

Day 18.

As you can see, I wore a white skirt and heels today, mostly because I had no plans to be anywhere or do anything. I figured I wouldn't have to walk much in (or really wear) the heels, and if the skirt got dirty Amelia was the only one who would see it.

WRONG.

Lydia invited us on another adventure, this time to the Desert Botanical Garden. Who am I to say no to checking out the monarch butterflies and agave yucca forest? Plus we got to see these guys again, and I never got around to posting pictures of them last time. Behold: GIANT WOODEN BUGS.

A lady bug.
A grasshopper.
An enormous daddy long legs.
(The color on that shot is un-retouched, by the way. The sky was really that blue. GORGEOUS.)

And an assassin bug.
The photos I took of the praying mantis, dragonfly, spider, and the rest are lost somewhere on my computer. Alas. It's a pretty awesome exhibit.

And the assassin bug? I'd never heard of one before. Apparently it's also known as a kissing bug. We puzzled over that one for a bit--assassin bug = kissing bug? Weird.--but then Lydia figured it out. Basically it's the dementor of the insect world.

Duh.

Incidentally, I was worried that I was a fool for wearing heels to the Botanical Garden. But it wasn't that bad really. And fool or not, I'm that committed to my 30. So there.

shirt: J Crew / cardigan: Express / skirt: Paris / shoes: Famous Footwear

Monochrome

2011-11-17T20:37:00.002-07:00

Day 17.

I hadn't intended to wear shorts again, but then it was like 80 today. So I did. The end.

shirt: J Crew / cardigan: Target / shorts: REI / shoes: gift

Stupid Wednesdays

2011-11-16T19:37:00.002-07:00

Day 16.

One semester of college--maybe two in a row? My memory is fuzzy on that point--my Wednesdays were absolute hell. I had to be on campus earlier than any other day, raced between classes and work non-stop, scarcely had time to eat something for lunch, and often didn't get home until long after dark. I hated it. Hated it. And I said, often and probably quite blasphemously, that if I were God there would be no Wednesdays.

Today I kind of felt like that. And no, I don't really want to talk about it.

sweater: Gap / skirt: Banana Republic / shoes: Payless / cute baby girl: me / cute little boy: Lydia / weird look on my face: long day / terrible posture: ditto

Halfway done!

2011-11-15T16:22:00.003-07:00

Day 15. (Yes, I will eventually post Day 14's outfit. I just need to recreate and take a picture of it.)

Today Lydia and I took the kiddos to the Arizona Science Center. Not only was it a lovely way to spend an afternoon (good company, fun exhibits, well-behaved baby) but we were also able to get our outfit photos taken and out of the way. And hey! Despite whatever it is I'm doing in this shot, I actually look kind of cute and not all exhausted or out of focus or disproportionate or anything!

Plus we both wore our grey striped shirts with cardigans, which is hilarious to me. Of all the days to be twinners, of course it would be the day we hang out together. Of course.

shirt: J Crew / cardigan: Target / jeans: Gap / shoes: Famous Footwear / wristband: ASC / rad little boy: Lydia

Mila Monday: Twenty-four weeks

2011-11-14T15:51:00.001-07:00

Hi friends! It's me, Amelia.
My mom's kinda tired today, on account of I woke up lots and lots last night. It was all dark in my room but I didn't care. I wanted to play. Sleeping is boring. Playing is fun!
So I was like, "Hey mom! Mom! MOM! Come here and I will blow bubbles and tell you stories and pull your hair and it will be awesome!"
But every time she was like, "Whoa, dude. Whoa. It's still night time. I'm not playing with you. You're s'posed to be all sleepy."
And she kept going on and on about how she needed to get some rest because I'm all exhausting or whatever. So I just had some snacks and went back to bed. Because I'm a good girl like that.

But do you want to know a secret? Come here, let me tell you.
It really doesn't matter how many times I wake her up in the night. All I have to do is make this face and my mom forgets how tired and grumpy she is and laughs at me every time!
Isn't that a cool trick? What'd I tell you? I'm a precious evil genius.

I have a new calling

2011-11-13T16:49:00.002-07:00

Day 13.

Today I was set apart as first counselor in the Primary presidency.

I'll be teaching the lesson for Sharing Time next week. It's about showing reverence for sacred places and things. And after having attended Primary for the first time in AGES, I have only one thought:

Reverence might be more than just quietly sitting, but quietly sitting would be a good place to start.

shirt: LOFT / cardigan: BR outlet / skirt: ASOS / tights: Target / boots: Nordstrom

Cheater cheater pumpkin eater

2011-11-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

Day 12.

Confession: That black cardigan from yesterday wasn't on my list. And I already cheated by wearing it last Sunday. Since the temperatures abruptly went from high 80's to low 60's earlier this week and since I really only included the black button-down shirt (which I haven't yet worn) because I thought it would be easy to work with, I'll just make it official. The black cardigan is in and the black shirt is out.

I still want my #30 freebie item. Just in case.

cardigan: Express / tank: Target / jeans: Gap / shoes: Payless

Eleven-eleven-eleven

2011-11-11T23:11:00.000-07:00

Day 11.

I tucked in my cardigan and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Also, please ignore my lack of face and arms and the fact that the shadows make one of my calves look significantly larger than the other. Taking a decent photo was kind of the last thing on my mind tonight.

Does anyone know how to tell the difference between a baby who is teething and a baby whose tummy doesn't like the new foods she's eating? I don't care what the pediatrician says; I think we're going to back off from the solid foods for a little while longer. If she is teething, she could probably use comfort and familiarity instead of crazy new stuffs. If she's not teething, her belly may not be ready for crazy new stuffs. Because something is up and I'd rather not sit and twiddle my thumbs while she cries if I don't have to. I'm open to suggestions if you've got them.

cardigan: Target / shirt: J Crew / skirt: Gap / shoes: Famous Footwear / belt: Gap

Getting caught up

2011-11-10T10:14:00.002-07:00

Days 9 & 10.

FAKE SMILE SLASH AWKWARD POSE ALERT.

Weird as some of my faces are when people take pictures of me, they're much less creepy than the faces I make when I take pictures of myself. But Amelia was napping and I had time so I figured I'd set the camera timer and get this out of the way now instead of waiting till David gets home from work.

Yesterday: boring and easy and I didn't remember to take a picture until it was late and I was too tired to care. After feeling uncomfortable all day Tuesday, I needed just a jeans and t-shirt kind of day. It was a nice break. I did wear big ol' earrings with my boring clothes, mind you, I just forgot to put them back in when I recreated the outfit this morning.

And then there is today. Let's take a moment to talk about how pasty my legs are. THEY ARE SO PASTY. The end.

*

Yesterday I was looking at blogs and Pinterest and Martha Stewart Living to come up with ideas for handmade Christmas gifts and decorations. Inspiration struck and I bundled Amelia up for a trip to Joann's for some green felt before I forgot.

And when I got home I realized two things.

1) The chick at the register overcharged me. I bought a remnant, so it should have been half off, so unless the spool of thread I also bought cost four dollars, I'm pretty sure she didn't give me the discount. But I don't want to be that person who drives all the way back out to Mesa for a four dollar refund. Not worth it. Still annoying.

2) I really need to finish the stuff I'm working on now before starting something new. As of this morning I have five incomplete projects and another five or six in the queue, most of which need to be completed before Christmas. I'm not entirely sure how that's going to happen, but the current plan involves knitting like crazy on the way to and from San Diego for Thanksgiving and cutting out felt shapes while watching "Parks and Recreation."

I have problems.

Day 9: shirt: J Crew / jeans: Gap / shoes: gift / earrings (not shown): Target
Day 10: shirt: J Crew / skirt: Banana Republic / shoes: Payless

Swing and a miss

2011-11-08T17:54:00.002-07:00

Day 8.

In theory I liked this outfit. In practice, not so much. The skirt is not very conducive to playing on the floor with a little one and was probably not the best thing to wear for Amelia's first adventure with sweet potatoes. The shirt has one of those cowl necks that I always kind of want to pull over my head like a backwards hoodie and that Amelia thinks is a toy. Plus I was cold all day. Of course our heater only works half the time, which probably didn't help.

The sweet potatoes, incidentally, were not a big hit. We'll try again tomorrow.

shirt: Banana Republic / skirt: some store in Paris / shoes: Payless

Mila Monday: Twenty-three weeks

2011-11-07T12:21:00.008-07:00

Day 7.

Check it: no blue and no grey. You should be proud of me. Even though maybe the green tights are a little bit matchy-matchy with the green striped shirt. Don't care. I like them. And I wore them all day. Didn't wear the shoes all day, though. I did wear them to the post office, though, which totally counts. The rest of the time I wore fuzzy socks over the tights. Maybe I should have taken a picture of that for you. Super stylish. Also my braid is all kinds of falling out on account of tiny little hands like to grab at it and yes I look kind of tired and washed out but this is just what I look like at the end of the day, okay? Yeesh.

ANYWAY. Here's Amelia, which I'm sure is why you came here in the first place. Crazy hair and sleepy face, but look! She's sitting up all by herself now! Such a big girl.
I'm kind of in love with her pants.

shirt: J Crew Factory / skirt: ASOS / belt: Gap / tights: Target / shoes: Famous Footwear

Svithe: The best book

2011-11-06T19:10:00.003-07:00

Day 6.

Both my favorite picture and my favorite outfit thus far.

A graduate student in literature who does a lot of translation work on the side bore his testimony in church today. He spoke about several basic doctrines that he knows to be true but focused mainly on The Book of Mormon. His thoughts were simple, boiling down to the following:

The Book of Mormon was translated by revelation, so every word in it is there because God essentially put it there. It is such a powerful witness of Christ because it was divinely designed to be so. Joseph Smith was right: from a translator's point of view, it literally is the most correct book on the face of the earth.

It was a perspective I'd never considered. Each word is there because God wanted it there. Perhaps it's time to revisit the BoM with that in mind.

shirt: Anne Taylor / skirt: Banana Republic / belt: Gap / tights: Target / shoes: Urban Outfitters / necklace: gift / baby: my womb / her socks: JC Penney / her dress: Carter's

Burning

2011-11-05T19:50:00.003-07:00

Day 5.

Remember remember the fifth of November
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot.
I see no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

As per our family Guy Fawkes' Day tradition, we burned effigies of people we don't like very much. This year it was all the stupid boys who have ever dated and been mean to our friends. We only burned two effigies, but they can symbolically represent a bunch of jerkfaces, right?

On a semi-related note, I've been reading the Harry Potter books to Amelia every night as part of our bedtime ritual. We just started Order of the Phoenix. Every time Fawkes has shown up in the last four books, I can't help thinking what an awesome name that is for a phoenix. Well played, Ms. Rowling. Well played.

And if you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, go read about the Gunpowder Plot first and then we'll talk. I'm sure you can figure it out.

(Please believe me when I tell you this was the best picture we got of me tonight. I'd show you the wonky-drunk-faced-ish ones but I have some pride. Since you can't really tell, and in case you care, I'm wearing a grey and white striped shirt, a red-orange cardigan, dark jeans, and my boat shoes.)

shirt: J Crew / cardigan: J Crew / jeans: Gap / shoes: Famous Footwear

People and things

2011-11-04T15:58:00.007-07:00

Day 4.

Jeans and a tee and my chucks. Pretty standard Jen uniform today.

Except that I was wearing my great-grandmother's necklace and now I'm not. Hence the grumpy face.

It was a high school graduation gift from her parents. My grandma found it with all her jewelry, wrapped up in tissue with the note my great-great-grandmother had written, and told me I could have it. I was thrilled.

I wore it today because it goes so well with this peach top and because I never accessorize and thought maybe today I would try. And then I was nursing Mila. And she reached up and grabbed it. You know where this is going, I'm sure. I didn't stop her because she wasn't pulling--just holding it--but evidently that was a terrible decision. Suddenly beads were pouring down the front of me. Into my shirt, onto the couch, spilling onto the floor.

I nearly cried.

I don't own many things that I worry about ruining. Clothes, dishes, even my books...just not that big a deal. (Although I may not be so cavalier when one day I discover Mila happily ripping pages out of my Shakespeare anthology. We'll see.) Yes, I'd be pretty dang upset if, say, someone wrecked my car or smashed the TV or spilled something on my laptop, because those things are expensive to replace. But they're still replaceable. I'd get over it.

But this admittedly cheap little necklace is sort of an heirloom. It's got sentimental value. It's definitely irreplaceable. Fortunately it's not a lost cause; stringing it back together shouldn't be hard. I just hope I can find all the beads. I found one hiding in Mila's onesie and two more in my bra (how did I not notice they were there?) but there are still a few missing.

I know we're supposed to love people and use things and not the other way around or however the saying goes, but there are just some things that you can't help loving. And you mourn them when they're gone. At least I do. Is that wrong?

shirt: J Crew / jeans: Gap / shoes: gift

Serviceable

2011-11-03T12:22:00.005-07:00

Day 3.

I hadn't intended to be a scrub at all this month (or to wear something so similar to a previous outfit so soon in the game) but today I was grateful that I'd included pieces that allowed it. I've got plans to work in Sister K's garden with my visiting teaching companion this afternoon, so I needed something that I didn't mind mucking around a bit in. Grey shorts, you were a wise choice.

This is one of the very few times I've had a chance to really do anything for one of the women I visit teach. Either they were unreachable, or they weren't interested in having me over, or I never really saw an opportunity to serve them. Or I was a slacker and didn't try at all, which has been the case far too often.

This time around, though, I've got a companion who is SUPER gung-ho about seeing our sisters, one of whom recently had a heart attack and, subsequently, a triple bypass. She's unable to work in her garden and it's driving her a little bit bonkers to watch it all die. We volunteered to do what little we can. And as inconvenient as it might be, I'm grateful to be in service of my fellow women.

shirt: gift / shorts: REI / shoes: gift

Party Skirt

2011-11-02T14:23:00.005-07:00

Day 2.

Not gonna lie. I felt a little overdressed for the grocery store this morning. I love all the pieces of this outfit and was a little surprised when I realized I'd never worn them all together. Which I guess is one of the things this 30 for 30 thing is good for. Breaking out of ensemble ruts or whatever.

I'd planned on taking photos in the yard this morning while Amelia napped but then I remembered we got irrigation last night and the yard would be a muddy mess. Oh well.

True story: the first time I encountered residential flood irrigation, I thought some poor guy's pipes had burst and flooded his yard. Then David told me what was actually going on. And then I felt dumb. But then I thought for a minute and said, man, people must have a ton of mosquitoes around here because of the irrigation. And David said, not really. But he was wrong. Because I'm pretty sure we have heaps more mosquitoes than people who don't get irrigation.

All of which is to say that there has been one GIANT mosquito buzzing around the house for a couple days and I haven't for the life of me been able to squash it and it's driving me INSANE.

By the way, this skirt is too big for me. I make it fit by pinning it with this beauty. I don't think we have a single safety pin in this house, but we've got a lovely collection of assorted military and political pins. And by "we" I mean David, on account of the only pins I own are from The Brobecks and Smokey the Bear. Maybe tomorrow I'll remind people to prevent forest fires. Today, though, the communists are getting free advertising on my left hip. You're welcome comrades.

cardigan: Target / tank: Target / skirt: Banana Republic / shoes: Payless

Tally-ho!

2011-11-01T20:10:00.003-07:00

View halloo!
Oh yes, definitely, ah, view halloo.
(You know, like this:)

That's pretty much how our Halloween went. Hope yours was, if not equally British and snobby, then at least equally awesome.

And, because it kind of cracks me up, ye olde timey foxe hunters.

Ahoy!

2011-11-01T16:50:00.007-07:00

Day one.

I kept trying to think of something awesome to wear for my first day of this sartorial experiment, but when it came down to getting dressed this morning I just wanted something easy. That almost certainly had something to do with yesterday's Halloween costuming. (Pics still to come. I swears.) So shorts and a 3/4 sleeved tee it was.

If someone called and invited me to hang out on their yacht, I would totally wear this outfit. Mostly because of these bad boys.

They're my boat shoes. At least that is what I call them. In real life I'm not really sure what boat shoes are. But navy blue boat-neck shirt AND boat shoes? Totally seafaring.

Also, setting the camera on a stool in the backyard and setting the timer to take a picture of yourself? Awkward!
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to knit a nautical-themed pashmina afghan. Just in case.

shirt: J Crew / shorts: REI / shoes: Famous Footwear

Mila Monday: Twenty-two Weeks

2011-10-31T20:07:00.004-07:00

See that little tear? We kept her up far too late. This was taken mid-meltdown and before her bath. I've got her trained pretty well, it turns out, and she stopped crying when I pulled out the camera.
Daddy even coaxed a little smile out of her.
Costume photos to come. Happy Halloween, all.

30 x 30: The List

2011-10-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

Here is a preview of my chosen items in all their glory.

Shirts/Tanks

navy/coral/teal/peach/black

multi-colored floral/grey stripes/purple plaid/green stripes/cream

Sweaters

red-orange/goldenrod/blue/purple/brown

Skirts

brown/navy/blue/white/b&w hound's tooth

Pants

dark jeans/grey shorts/medium jeans

Shoes

teal chucks/boots/grey flats/brown heels/purple flats/grey heels

The observant reader will notice that I've only listed 29 items. Ha! A 30 for 30 TWIST! Except not really. I'm simply allowing myself one "wild card" to play with. This way if I realize I can't go a month without wearing such-and-such item in my closet, or I find something for sale that I absolutely can't live without, or my mom finishes sewing my skirt and I really really want to wear it, I've got some wiggle room.

After making my selections, I was surprised to find how heavily they skewed toward blues. Maybe my subconscious was trying to play it safe? Go figure. Also, yes, shorts and a white linen skirt. In November. It's still pretty warm here, remember, and I needed to include more bottoms to work with. Let's see if I can pull off a white skirt with colored tights as the weather gets colder...

And, for your information and amusement, here are the rules I set for myself. If you're playing along, feel free to adopt or discard them as desired.

1) You must create 30 unique outfits from the selected items. Wearing the same top and bottom with different shoes does not count.

2) You must photograph yourself wearing each outfit and post it on your blog.

3) You are no longer with child. No maternity clothes allowed! (I've still got a couple maternity dresses and shirts in my regular clothing rotation. I wanted to be sure I didn't include them in my picks. Don't judge me.)

4) If you choose the shoes, you must wear the shoes when you leave the house. (This is to prevent me from photographing myself in heels and then wearing flip flops all day.)

5) Accessories are encouraged but not required.

6) Hair must be styled. Not necessarily straightened or even blow-dried, but do something more than pull it up in a nappy ponytail.

Clothes have been chosen. Parameters have been set. Here we go...

Never Nude: An upcoming adventure in clothing

2011-10-28T09:20:00.004-07:00

While some of you will be writing novels during the month of November (yay NaNoWriMo!) I'll be tackling a different kind of creative project: a "30 for 30". What is that, you say? I'm glad you asked!

Essentially you take 30 articles of clothing and create 30 unique outfits from those pieces. They can include tops, bottoms, and shoes; accessories such as belts, scarves, and jewelry are freebies. You can see more details and examples here. Kendi (who I'm pretty sure I'd be friends with in real life...call me, Kendi!) came up with the idea and apparently it has turned into a bit of a style blogging phenomenon. November seems like as good a time as any to jump on that bandwagon. 30 outfits in a month of 30 days. Perfect.

Now I realize I'm not a style blogger, nor do I have any intention of becoming one, and I know that most (if not all) of you probably don't care in the slightest what I wear from day to day. But the idea of a 30 for 30 has really resonated with me and I'm more likely to stick with it if obligated to do so. Posting about it on my silly little blog seems like the best way to create a sense of accountability. If you decide not to check in with me for the next month, I won't be offended in the slightest. But know this: I'll be posting on a near-daily basis, I'll be including pictures of myself (which could be good for a laugh), and I'll be writing normal Jen-blog stuff. Sunday ensembles will be accompanied by svithes, for example, and Mondays' will also include shots of Miss Mila. So there's that to consider.

But why, Jen? What is the point of all this? Good question. My reasons are five-fold:

1) To regain some control in my life. There are so few things that I can genuinely control right now, and it gets a little discouraging sometimes. (I just want to sleep for longer than a couple hours at a time! Or sit through Sunday School! Or, you know, take a shower!) My theory here is that if I take control of this small aspect of my life, I won't feel as resentful that nearly everything else is subject to the whims of a tiny, fickle dictator. While I may not get to choose when or where Amelia is going to barf next, I can totally choose what I wear while I'm cleaning it up. It's silly, I know, but it's a step toward feeling more at peace with the chaos of new motherhood. This month, get control of my wardrobe; next month, I conquer the house!

2) To get to know and feel good about myself. I'm still getting used to this postpartum body of mine. I'm still getting used to the fact that people who I'd never really talked to suddenly want to be my friend, simply because I have a kid now. (Note: this is a topic for another post because I have MUCH to say on the matter.) I'm still getting used to having my identity forever changed because I made a person. Not only do I need to figure out who I am now, but I want to feel comfortable and confident about what I've become. (Again, another post for another day perhaps.) I think exploring my personal style a bit might help that process along.

3) To curb my shopping habit. It's just barely dipping into the 90's now, as I'm sure I've told you on countless occasions. Because it's been so hot, we've spent a lot of time indoors, even when we leave the house. Read: when Mila and I go for walks, we walk around Target or the mall. Subsequently I have purchased a lot of clothes for all of us. Granted, I've been shopping some great sales ($7 shirts from J Crew! $6 dresses from Gymboree!) but still. We don't need to keep acquiring clothing and we don't need to keep spending and spending. Instead of shopping at stores, I'm going to learn to be grateful for and happy with what I have by making a very limited wardrobe work for me. Also, every time I see something I really want to buy, I'm going to put the money I would have spent on it into savings instead. House fund, prepare to grow!

4) To assess my wardrobe. While there's not much I need in terms of clothing, I'm sure there are a few holes in my closet that I'd like to fill. Contrariwise, I probably have extras that I don't need to keep hanging onto. If I don't miss something during a month of not wearing it, it's probably a waste of good closet space. I'll be making both a list of wants and a pile of things to donate as I go.

5) To have fun. So what if I'm almost thirty? Sometimes I just want to play dress up and take silly pictures. I fail to see anything wrong with that.

So there you go. Tomorrow I'll post a list of my chosen 30 items along with the rules I'll be setting for myself. Starting Tuesday I'll be documenting my progress. You are welcome to join me. In fact, let me know if you do so I can be sure to leave encouraging and complimentary comments for you. :)

Let the great experiment begin!

image source

Mila Monday: Twenty-one Weeks

2011-10-24T11:26:00.003-07:00

DRINKING FROM A CUP:

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

The distant future: the year 2000

2011-10-19T09:39:00.004-07:00

Guys.

I just barely started using Google Reader like five minutes ago. No joke.

I know. I know. People have been using Reader to manage the sites they check regularly for like EONS now. Or, you know, a few years. Which in today's tech terms is more like decades.

But consider this: I didn't join Facebook until probably 2007 or 2008.

Also I didn't join MySpace until like 2006. (I had an account for approximately three days before I deleted it.)

Also I have had my current cell phone since shortly after I got married and will probably not get a new one until this one dies.

Also I only just got my first iPod last month, and David had to buy it for me because I kept saying I wanted one but could never bring myself to actually get one.

So yeah. For me to be a few years behind on technology trends is pretty typical.

Besides, I kind of like having a truckload of bookmarks to click on. I've made a morning ritual out of opening like a billion tabs and closing them one by one as I check my favorite pages. There's something satisfying about going from page to page to page.

It's also a little ridiculous, though, because sometimes I end up checking so-and-so's blog several times a day to see if she posted something new. That's just unnecessary. And frankly a little stalkerish. (I really hope people don't freak out when they check their site stats and see that some crazy lady in Arizona has been clicking back to the same page like every other hour.)

This Reader business is going to take some getting used to but if it makes me less of a creep, then I can adjust.

*

Incidentally, and speaking of technology, I am compiling a list of songs about robots. Thus far it looks like this:

Robots -- Dan Mangan
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt. 1 -- The Flaming Lips
Robots -- Flight of the Conchords
She's a Robot -- The Brobecks
I Am Not a Robot -- Marina & the Diamonds
Mr. Roboto -- Styx

Any additions I should consider?

*

Also, for your viewing pleasure, I give you Miss Amelia eating her toes.
You're welcome, Mom.

Home for the holidays

2011-10-18T09:54:00.004-07:00

I think I want to be the kind of girl who changes her home decor for different times of the year. Not in an over-the-top kind of way, like the house in every neighborhood (you know the one) that looks like Christmas threw up on it the day after Thanksgiving. No, I just want a few tasteful holiday decorations. Some things to change the atmosphere in our house as summer turns to fall turns to winter.

Part of this desire is rooted in the fact that we don't get many seasonal cues from the weather here. It's just that much harder to get into the spirit of things when you wear shorts and flip flops to pick out your Christmas tree. Don't even get me started on how worried I am that Mila will get heat rash in her Halloween costume (which is going to be DARLING by the way). It would be nice for it to feel like fall, even if it is still 100 degrees outside.

However.

(There's always a caveat, isn't there?)

However, I don't really know where to start. How do you do "fun and festive" without moving into "tacky and forced" territory when you don't have Martha Stewart's budget or hired help? Our little house already feels cluttered most of the time; would holiday decorations just make it feel even more full of stuff?

I'm looking for advice here. I am not opposed to DIY holiday projects, as long as they aren't all "cutesy" like a lot of that Mormon mommy stuff out there. That's not really my style. That said, do you decorate your home for different holidays or seasons? What has worked for you? What ideas have to seen and would like to try but maybe haven't gotten around to yet? Any thoughts on the matter at all are appreciated.

Mila Monday: Twenty Weeks

2011-10-17T11:23:00.004-07:00

I made a hat. It was a sort of prototype to see if the pattern I'd chosen would turn out the way I wanted it to. It didn't, but that was because I read the pattern wrong. Oops. So while the hat isn't quite what I had in mind, it still turned out pretty cute, especially for a mistake.

Amelia modeled it for me this morning. Were I listing my handiwork on etsy, I might use this shot. Cute hat, cute baby. People would totally buy it, right?
But this is shot is more true to life.
And I like it better.

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name

2011-10-12T11:20:00.003-07:00

Except not really. I was on foot. And Amelia was in her stroller. But we did go through the desert...the Desert Botanical Garden, that is. David's mom and sister invited us on a morning outing yesterday.
We saw plants and birds and rocks and things, just like the song says. It was surprisingly awesome. I'm not really a fan of desert landscaping so I didn't expect to be so fascinated by all the prickly pokey things we encountered. Plus there were bunnies, and who doesn't love bunnies?
And Amelia was super cute in her sun hat and blue pinafore. Of course she's always cute...
It's a shame the temperatures here will be back in the high 90's and even into the 100's for the next week or so. It was lovely to be outside enjoying the sunshine without worrying about death by scorchification.

Mila Monday: Nineteen Weeks

2011-10-10T14:22:00.002-07:00

She loves to suck on her stuffed giraffe's ears. I put the giraffe on her chest and within a few seconds she's gone from this...
...to this.
She's also quite partial to his hooves.
One more, just because I love her wonky hair and goofy face.
She cracks me up.

I will have you. Yes, I will have you.

2011-10-05T09:51:00.003-07:00

This morning I decided it was high time I acquired one of the songs that David and I are constantly singing at each other, namely "You're the Best" by Joe "Bean" Esposito. Granted I had no idea it was sung by a guy whose nickname is Bean, nor do I know the lyrics beyond, "You're the best! Around! Namanamanamana bring ya down!" which aren't actually the lyrics even though we like to pretend they are. Still. I needed it.

I looked it up on iTunes and discovered a couple things. One was that good old Bean Esposito does not have a particularly large body of work, and the other was that this song exists in only two places: on the Karate Kid soundtrack (the original Karate Kid, not to be confused with Karate Kid: Tokyo Drift: The Unnecessary Remake) and on the soundtrack to The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (which I'd never heard of but was amused by the title). Furthermore, the song was only available for download if I purchased either complete album. Can I just say how annoying that is? I really really wish I could just pick and choose certain songs and download them individually, but alas. That is not always possible. Sometimes, yes. But not always.

Since I'd already decided that NOT owning the song wasn't a viable option, and not knowing what to expect from the second film (although just this minute I added it to my Netflix queue because now that I know it exists I maybe need to watch it) I first looked at the Karate Kid soundtrack list. And I was not impressed. There wasn't really anything on there besides "You're the Best" that interested me. So I moved on to The King of Kong: Fists of Fury or whatever it was.

This time I saw songs that I both knew and didn't yet have. "Eye of the Tiger," for example, and how in my fairly diverse and inclusive music library did I not already own that? Also on the list were "Ride of the Valkyries" and "In the Hall of the Mountain King," both of which I wouldn't mind listening to on occasion. And while $9.99 seemed a bit much to pay for only a handful of songs, I rationalized that "You're the Best" was worth it. I hit the Buy Album button.

One of the first songs to finish downloading was called "Obsession" by Animotion. I thought hey, let's give it a whirl and see if I like it, and hit play. A few familiar synth chords later I realized that a) I know this song, b) I secretly love this song, and c) it's one that keep forgetting about when I mentally create my Creepy Stalker Guy playlist. Because it's this song:

And while you don't have to watch that music video, I strongly recommend it because it is a thing of joy and wonder. Ah, the 80's.

Basically this experience has taught me that sometimes it's worth paying more than I'd like for the one song I really want. Because sometimes I get a crunchy surprise like that and my morning is made exponentially more rad. Radder? Whatever.

Side note for those who are interested:

In addition to "Obsession," my Creepy Stalker Guy playlist thus far consists of "Every Breath You Take" by The Police (obviously), "The Mariner's Revenge Song" by the Decemberists, "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield, "Aeroplane" by Bjork, and "One Way or Another" by Blondie. (I can't decide if the thought of Debbie Harry driving by my house and, if the lights are all out, seeing who's around is completely terrifying or hilariously awesome.) I'm sure I've got more but I can't remember them right now. And if you have any suggestions for other songs to include, I'm all ears.

Mila Monday: Eighteen Weeks

2011-10-03T17:10:00.002-07:00

What has Mila been up to lately?
She's been practicing her Blue Steel.
That Mila. She's so hot right now.

IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY.

2011-09-30T11:11:00.005-07:00

Evidently you are SUPER EXCITED to be four months old.
Given the choice between watching a movie and taking a nap (which is the theme of today's birthday celebration) she has wisely chosen nap.

And since I never posted a 3 month shot, and since it amuses me, here's last month's too.
I really need to start posting things that are not just pictures of my kid. Even I get bored of that after a while.

Mila Monday: Seventeen Weeks

2011-09-26T09:43:00.002-07:00

"Can I help you?"
She's got a bit of a cold. It's the first time she's ever been sick and, with the exception of an hour-long crying jag while I left her with David and went to the Relief Society broadcast on Saturday, she's handled it pretty well. So well that last night for the first time ever she slept for a full 8 hours, woke up at 4:30 to eat, then went back to sleep until 7:30. That is the kind of sick baby I can handle.

Mila Monday: Sixteen Weeks

2011-09-19T16:58:00.002-07:00

I swear there's a neck hiding under that second chin.

Four

2011-09-14T05:00:00.002-07:00

Happy anniversary, love. Here's hoping the little family we started four years ago can someday be as awesome as the Huxtables. (Click the link. Probably my favorite Cosby Show clip of all time.)

We went to San Diego for our first anniversary. David was sick. We still went to the Wild Animal Park because hey, we really like zoos.
Also, we seriously need to start taking more pictures of ourselves.

Mila Monday: Fifteen Weeks

2011-09-12T10:01:00.004-07:00

Last week you got to see Amelia right before bed. Here is a shot of her right after she's woken up.

I think she had a nightmare last night. Usually when she wakes up at night she'll just whine until I pick her up and feed her. Around 2 AM, though, she was actually crying. Since she's not much of a crier, it meant one of two things: I'd ignored her for way too long (not possible since I wake up pretty easily and wouldn't have slept through the preliminary whining) or she was scared and/or hurt. I ran to her room and frantically tried to soothe her. She was crying big sad tears in her sleep and nothing I did would comfort her until she finally woke herself up. Lucky for me she just nursed herself back to sleep; otherwise it could have been a long sleepless night.

She woke up with a smile on her face this morning (see exhibit A above) so she must not be too traumatized by whatever it was.

Does anyone know if babies really do have nightmares?

My new "job"

2011-09-06T12:47:00.003-07:00

Have you heard of the Segullah journal? If you haven't, go here and find out what it is. I'll wait.

...

Did you actually go read that? I hope so. Because guess what. I just joined their prose editorial board! They asked for volunteers on their blog, I replied, and after sending my "credentials" and giving them an example of what I can do, I get to be one of the cool kids who review submissions for their upcoming publications.

I'm stoked.

See, even though it's a volunteer position and won't involve a ton of work, I'll be gaining legitimate editing experience. I've been helping people edit their writing for years and years and years, not because I get paid to but because I'm good at it and they asked. This, on the other hand, will be something I can use to maybe get a paying gig someday. Because while I did revise David's engineering papers while he was in school, I'm pretty sure I can't put that on a resume. Segullah may help me get a foot in the editing door.

Not only that, but I'll be doing something I really enjoy. Back when I was writing web content, I realized that I'm much happier cleaning things up than writing them from scratch. Writing often stresses me out and I tend to overthink things. Editing comes more naturally. I think that's why I loved being a Humanities major: I'm only an amateur artist (at best) but I'm a fantastic critic. (Although secretly I still want to be a writer when I grow up. I really need to force myself to practice more.)

Bonus: the essays I'll be reviewing are spiritual in nature. No technical jargon or profanity or general awkwardness. Just enlightening, ennobling experiences from women who are living their faith the best way they know how.

So yes. I get to read, boss people around, and get a shot of the spirit, all from the comfort of my living room couch. If making and eating lots of tasty desserts was part of the job description, this would be the most perfect position for me ever.

Mila Monday: Fourteen Weeks

2011-09-05T20:34:00.003-07:00

Another late night edition.

I was hoping we'd go swimming today and I could get some pictures of Mila's first foray into a pool, but alas, we did not swim. Not even a little bit. Maybe next week for family home evening we'll go borrow the pool key at cousin Tommy's place.

Since I didn't get a pool pic, I thought I'd try for the next best thing: a nose-picking pic. Mila's latest trick is sucking on a couple fingers while sticking a third up her nose. It's kind of hilarious. Unfortunately, she always unplugs her nose the minute we pull out a camera. This was the only one I managed to snap before she stopped sucking her hands altogether. The room was dark and the flash was turned off, so I had to lighten it a ton in Photoshop. Hence all the graininess. Plus she's all sleepy, so she's got a bit of a drunkface.Am I a terrible mother for posting pictures like this on the internet?

Anyway, even though I didn't get either shot I was hoping for, I did get a better shot of her sweet, tired face just before we put on her jammies and put her to bed.

I kiss her cheeks about a million times a day. Admit it. You totally would too.

On top of the world looking down on creation

2011-08-30T09:40:00.003-07:00

Last Saturday David, Amelia, and I met my family up on the Mogollon Rim to pick wild raspberries. It was the first time Mila had spent any real time outdoors and she loved it. It's a little sad that she hadn't gotten to play outside for the first three months of her life, but when you consider that it's still nearly 120 degrees here I think you'll agree that staying inside all summer has been a wise decision.

The weather was beautiful when we arrived, but no sooner had we set up the canopy my dad had brought and fixed ourselves some sandwiches than we were hit by an enormous thunderstorm. I shouldn't have been surprised; it is still monsoon season, after all. Still, I'd expected warm weather, so the cold downpour caught me very much unprepared.

The whole family huddled nervously under the canopy as the the lightning came closer and closer. We kept hoping the worst of the storm would pass us by, but before long we found ourselves right in the middle of it. Storms don't usually bother me, but our location had me very worried. I just knew that the metal canopy frame would attract a bolt of lightning and we'd all die horrible fiery deaths. The booming thunder didn't even faze Miss Mila, though. She sat happily munching her fists during the worst of the storm and had a snack in the truck once the rain slowed enough for me to brave the walk to it.

Eventually the rain stopped and we could wander the forest searching for the last of the season's berries. As David noted, berry picking is such a great activity because it's so slow and enjoyable that you don't notice how hard you're working, with all that walking and bending and fighting with brambles that keep grabbing at your clothes and hair. Even though most of the fruit was dried up and the bushes had been pretty well stripped by the deer and chipmunks, we were able to get a little bucketful to bring home. I think next year we'll go earlier in the season; maybe we can get enough to make some jam or a pie or two.

Spending time as a family and getting away from the oppressive heat makes our adventure a double win in my book. Gazing out from what feels like the edge of the world was just icing on the cake.

Mila Monday: Thirteen Weeks

2011-08-29T09:17:00.003-07:00

And this is why Amelia will never need a Bumpit.

Mila Monday: Twelve Weeks

2011-08-22T10:46:00.002-07:00

Tummy time is not her favorite, but she was tired enough to tolerate it while I snapped a few pictures this morning.

You're just somebody that I used to know

2011-08-19T09:54:00.003-07:00

Sometimes when Facebook makes "people you may know" suggestions, it shows you pictures of people you haven't seen in years.

Sometimes those pictures make your stomach do a weird lurchy thing because there is a reason you have not seen those faces for so long.

Sometimes when that happens, you end up Facebook stalking these people who used to be a part of your life because even though you don't particularly want to be friends anymore--even online--you are still curious.

And no matter what you find, you end up feeling grateful that things turned out the way they did. Largely because your life is awesome, and a little bit because you've aged better than they have.

Mila Monday: Eleven Weeks

2011-08-15T09:33:00.002-07:00

She's such fun right after she's had a good nap, a snack, and a change of pants.
Is is just me, or does her hair look a little bit red here? Also, ARMPIT ROLLS. Love.

Svithe: Parental Perspective

2011-08-14T07:32:00.005-07:00

Some actual one-sided conversations I've had with Amelia that made me suddenly realize what a foolish child my Heavenly Father must think I am sometimes.

*

"I hear you, I hear you. Mommy just has to finish putting the laundry in the dryer. I hear you and I'm coming in just one minute. You will not die if you have to wait for one minute, I promise. I hear you complaining and I'm coming to fix it, you just have to be patient...Oh."

*

"Seriously, why are you fighting me? You've been nursing for nearly three months and I'm pretty sure you know how to latch on by now. Just chill out. Stop. STOP. Ok, really, you've got to stop, you big spaz! Squirming around is not going to get you anywhere. And I'm pretty sure there's not any food in your fist. You know what you're supposed to do, so why don't you just DO it?...Oh."

*

"Go to sleep. Go to sleep. OH MY GOSH JUST GO TO SLEEP ALREADY. You are so tired! I know you think you're not, but you really really are. No, don't you smile at me. It is not play time. It is sleeping time. Not play time. Sleeeeeeping time. You'll be so much happier if you get some sleep. Trust me. I'm your mother and I know what is best for you...Oh."

Steppin' Out With My Baby

2011-08-12T12:23:00.006-07:00

Remember how I said I wanted to be more adventurous? Well this week I made a point of Doing Things. Like meeting friends for lunch. Having a "crochet day" with David's cousin's kids. Going to the library, and that is the one thing I said I was going to do and then I actually did it. I'm so proud.

I feel as though I've done more this week than I have in a long time. While I never did get around to mopping the floor like I intended to (there's still time, right?) I didn't spend my every waking hour nursing a baby and trying to get her to sleep, although we did plenty of that too. Also, I learned stuff.

1) It is okay to decide to take a spontaneous detour to the library on the way home from the post office, even if I have zero baby gear (stroller excepted) with me. Picking out a few books doesn't take long. The worst that could happen? Amelia starts crying and we leave. No big deal.

2) Leaving the stroller in my car greatly increases the likelihood of such spontaneous detours.

3) Assuming that she has eaten fairly recently, Amelia will probably fall asleep and stay asleep as long as she is moving. At the very least she will be quiet and maybe suck on her fists. In the car. In the stroller. In someone's arms. She really is a well-behaved kid.

4) Cloth diapers are the bomb. Amelia is quite talented in the art of defecation, so believe me when I tell you how miraculous it is that we've NEVER HAD A BLOWOUT. Ever. And never worrying about the possibility of a poopsplosion while we're out and about is delightful.

5) Cloth diapers make me look way more hardcore than I really am. People are so impressed that we don't use disposables and it cracks me up. They don't know that I use cloth diapers because they are the easier option for me. I'd rather do a little extra laundry than figure out what brand or size of disposables I should use, make space in our tiny house to store them, work the added expense into our monthly budget, and dash to the store if we accidentally run out. Plus, like I said, no blowouts. I get to impress people by secretly taking the easy way out. Love it.

6) Amelia's height and weight are in the 75-90th percentile for her age. I didn't learn that by being adventurous so much as I did by taking her to the pediatrician for her two month checkup, but since it involved leaving the house I'm going to include it. Hooray for my chubby little girl.

7) I am a better wife and mother when I don't feel trapped in the same routine all day, every day. Whether that means running to the grocery store after Amelia is asleep for the night, or having a friend over to chat for a couple hours, or spending the entire afternoon up in Scottsdale, it doesn't matter. Breaking up the monotony is good for me. Sometimes I forget that.

So maybe I didn't get to ride a camel (so jealous) and maybe we still don't have a daytime nap schedule figured out yet. I'm over it. And I'm figuring out how to make the most of this motherhood thing without feeling like a slave to the endless cycle of eating and sleeping and changing messy pants. And that's a start at any rate.

Mila Monday: Ten Weeks

2011-08-08T20:17:00.003-07:00

How is my baby already 10 weeks old? It's a little hard to believe.

Anyway, she's playing with her dad before taking a bath.
We almost got a giggle out of her. Not quite, but someday. Right now she laughs a little like Sheldon on Big Bang Theory. Like so:

She's doomed to a life of geekery, isn't she?

More Adventurous

2011-08-04T09:29:00.004-07:00

Yesterday I hung out with the charming Kelli Nicole all morning as she had a long layover en route to California. I wish more of my friends had lifestyles that required (or just allowed) them to travel frequently so they could follow Kelli's lead and schedule layovers at Sky Harbor. It's such a perfect way to hang out with someone who lives far away but whom you'd like to see more often. No need to worry about lodging or make plans to keep everyone entertained. Just a few hours of catching up and enjoying one another's company, then off to catch a plane for the next leg of the journey. I love it. (Of course, it helps immensely that I live less than 15 minutes away from the airport.)

Adam, Gretchen, Me, & Emily looking at the Chicago skyline from Lake Michigan, 2006

Watching all those planes land and take off--and thinking about Brad and Emily and Chloe, who just moved to India where Brad will be doing linguistics research for the next six months--made me all kinds of wanderlusty. I wish I traveled more, but I think the last time I flew anywhere, it was to visit Rachael and her family in Indiana in 2009. I've been on just two international adventures: an overnight road trip to a beach less than 15 miles south of the US/Mexico border in 2006, and a two-week whirlwind through London, Paris, Rome, Florence, and Venice in 2003. And here's a sad fact: David and I have never flown anywhere together.

I did, however, see the Queen when I was in London, so maybe that makes up for it.

I know some people have little desire to go anywhere; I am not one of those people. There are so many places I've never been and things I want to see! But here's the honest to goodness truth: I'm scared to just go.

How many times have David and I tentatively planned trips to Washington DC or Chicago or Victoria or even just Las Vegas and never followed through on them? Too many to count. We even talked about going to Africa, figuring out whether we could afford to stay at the Giraffe Manor outside of Nairobi or maybe make it to Addis Ababa for Timkat. Yeah...that never happened. Obviously. It's really easy to say we don't go places because we haven't the time or the money, but I think it's more about being too complacent, lazy, and afraid to take the plunge.

What's driving me crazy, though, is that this has trickled into my daily life. I'm not just hesitant to hop a plane to New York or get in the car and drive to San Diego; I'm hesitant to go to the grocery store these days. I tell myself it's too hot to go anywhere, and it's hard to plan outings around Amelia's erratic (and sometimes non-existent) nap schedule, and I have to take too many things when we go anywhere, so it's just easier not to go. And all of that is true. It's totally easier to stay home than to pack up a two-month-old and all the necessary baby gear, brave the 115 degree weather, and do something fun.

Me,Emily, & Camber in Rosarito, 2006

I need to get over this. Seriously. I mean, I love being at home as much as the next guy, but I don't want to turn into a hermit just because it takes too much effort to go anywhere. And I very much don't want to put my dream of seeing the world on hold indefinitely because it isn't convenient.

Next summer I'm going to London with Emily. We've been "planning" this trip for eight years now, so there's no backing out. Honestly I can't wait. But between now and then, I've gotta get me some courage and just start going places. Maybe starting with the library. Baby steps, right?

Venice, 2003

Mila Monday: Tuesday Edition: Nine Weeks & More

2011-08-02T10:49:00.005-07:00

Miss Mila turned 2 months old last Saturday. She has definitely grown since last month. (Also, the editing I did on last month's picture was a little weird, but I still tried to match it this month. I don't think I'm a fan. I think I'll re-edit all of them by next month so they still match but aren't quite so washed out.)
Then Sunday was her blessing day. Grandma Terri made her little white dress and I made her headband. Turns out we were both just a smidge off on our measurements. We had to leave the top button undone because her neck was too fat, and the headband dug into her giant noggin quite a bit. Next time I'll err on the side of too big so we don't cut off her circulation or leave her head with a permanent indented ring around it.
Yesterday was her nine week birthday. (Am I weird for counting weeks and months separately?) She celebrated by hanging out with her Aunt Liz while David and I went with his mom to see HP7P2. When we got home, I gave Mila her nightly bath and put her to bed. I love how snuggly she is when she's all wrapped up in a towel. It's one of my favorite parts of the day.
So there you go. Your weekly dose of the cutest baby ever. You're welcome.

Belated Svithe: I can't wait till she grows up

2011-08-01T07:21:00.006-07:00

Today's' episode of Mila Monday will be postponed. We will return to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow. (Let's be honest, though. I will never be able to top last week's photos. They still crack me up every time I look at them.)

Yesterday, with grandparents and uncles and cousins surrounding her, David gave our little Amelia Blythe the most perfect baby blessing. He said two things that particularly stood out in my mind. He blessed her to be a woman of faith, a woman of courage; he blessed her to have a desire to follow the good examples of the faithful members of her family.

I love the thought of my beautiful girl growing up to be a woman of faith and courage. I think of Ruth and Esther and Hannah and Mary and so many other women in the scriptures who had absolute faith in God and courage to do what He asked of them. I can't think of better traits for Amelia to have. If she has faith, she will learn compassion, patience, and trust. If she has courage, she will learn to act in accordance with her beliefs. She will be obedient to the Lord's commandments, and will be happy and blessed. What more could I want for my daughter?

She is blessed with so many good examples to follow, too. Great-grandparents who have made many personal sacrifices to do the Lord's will. Grandparents who unceasingly give of their time and talents to build up His kingdom. Aunts and uncles who strive to develop a close relationship with their Heavenly Father through regular temple worship. Ancestors who trekked across the plains to "find a place which God for [them] prepared" or who sailed across the sea to obtain the freedom to "worship how where or what they may." * She has so many family members who are worthy of emulation.

As I listened to David's sweet blessing, I had to ask myself: Am I the kind of woman I want my daughter to grow up to become? Right now, the answer is no.

I have done things of which I am quite proud that I hope she will also do in her life. I have developed attributes that I hope she will value and try to develop in herself. But today I am not the person I ought to be. Obviously I am not perfect--nor do I expect perfection of myself--but I can do better. I should do better.

It's easy to tell myself that we'll start studying the scriptures as a family when she is able to read along, or that we'll have family home evenings when she is old enough to participate. It's even easier to tell myself that it's ok to spend sacrament meeting chatting with the other nursing mothers instead of listening quietly to the talks broadcast through the speakers in the lounge, and that as long as I take the sacrament my Sabbath worship is sufficient. But no. I need to be doing more, and I need to be doing it now. If I wait until she is older, until she can sit through meetings, or go to nursery, or sing the songs, or say a prayer, or, or, or... It just won't ever happen.

I need to be a woman of faith and courage, an example to my daughter, and I need to be that now.

*Jen trivia: My heritage includes not just the "good pioneer stock" that many Mormons claim, but also several ancestors who came over on the Mayflower. I'm even descended from Massasoit (the naked Indian at BYU!) which is endlessly entertaining to me. I'm as American as they come.

Mila Monday: Eight Weeks

2011-07-25T13:48:00.002-07:00

Oh hi!

Look, I'm sorry my mom hasn't been posting very often lately.

She says it's my fault.

But I'm like, "Woman, please. Don't even start with me."

And then she apologizes and I'm like, "I forgive you. Let's hug it out."

But you know what? She's totally right. Have you seen me? I'm freaking adorable. She can't help but choose me over the internet. It's all part of my secret plan to take over the world, one smitten fan at a time.
I'm a genius. An evil--but precious!--genius.

Mila Monday: Seven Weeks

2011-07-18T11:04:00.002-07:00

She often starts fussing as soon as I start eating. It's super inconvenient. Then one night, while I was holding her in one arm and trying to eat with the other, David remembered we have a Bumbo. Brilliant! Now she sits on the table and watches us during meals. I have two free hands, she doesn't feel left out, and David gets to play with her tiny toes while he eats his dinner. Win, win, win.

Short Stories: Baby's First (non-grocery) Shopping Excursion

2011-07-14T08:31:00.005-07:00

About a week ago I discovered that the jeans I was wearing had a HUGE hole in them. How many days had I been inadvertently flashing my inner thigh at the world? Beats me. But apparently the time had come for new jeans, which made me sad because they were my favorite ones. Arming myself with debit card and pacifier, I buckled Amelia into her carseat, prayed she'd fall asleep on the car ride there, and headed over to the nearest Gap. She was quiet and sleepy when I clicked the carseat into the stroller so I figured we'd have an uneventful trip.

Cut to me, crowded into the corner of a tiny dressing room by the enormous stroller, shushing a screaming baby, staring at my pantsless reflection in the full-length mirror and giggling about how ridiculous my life seems to have become.

Amelia eventually fell asleep, and I ended up chickening out on the skinny jeans and just bought my regular straight-leg ones. Maybe next time.

Just keep pinning. Just keep pinning.

2011-07-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

Pinterest and me? We're in a love/hate relationship right now.

See, I spend a lot of time online these days. More than I used to, anyway. While feeding Amelia. Or decompressing between the time when Amelia goes to bed and when I do. Or, like right now, when Amelia is napping and I'm just waiting for the washing machine to finish a cycle so I can get in the shower. And yes, I could totally be using this time to mop the floor or fold laundry or clean out the fridge or something, but I don't want to. I'm tired and nobody cares if my fridge is immaculate anyway.

So yes. Lots of interwebs for Jen. And one can only do so much blog-hopping and news-reading before one gets bored.

Enter Pinterest.

I love it because it's like a collection of all the best stuff on the internet. Funny things and pretty things and tasty things and all. I love that I can make a wishlist of all the things I find while online window shopping. I love that I have a board full of recipes I love or want to try. I love that I can collect images of places to go and things to do and ways to decorate and clothes to wear and pictures to take. No more folders cluttering up my desktop. No more bookmarking things in my browser. No more leaving tabs open and hoping I remember why I left them open in the first place. Everything is organized in one place.

Even better, I can browse my friends' boards and get inspiration from them. Or make suggestions of things they might like. Or just learn more about them by checking out the things they find worthy of pinning. It's fantastic.

That said, I'm tired of wading through things that don't look cute/tasty/interesting to me to find a handful of gems. I'm tired of the "thinspiration" pins and the "you have an eating disorder go eat a sandwich big women are more 'real' than skinny ones" responses they always garner. I'm tired of the profanity. So many things with the f-bomb in them! I'm especially tired of seeing fourteen people pin the same image with the same caption asking questions that have already been answered. The building is in Barcelona. You can find that thing on Amazon. That flower is a dahlia. That is Katy Perry, NOT Zooey Deschanel. The bride in the photo crossed her arms because it's hard to make an "E" with your right hand, dangit! Can somebody figure out a way for people to change captions from their iPhones? Because it's driving me crazy.

On the whole, I'm a fan. But maybe Pinterest and I need to take a break for a while. See other people...

Oh. who am I kidding? LET'S GO PIN ALL THE THINGS!

Mila Monday: Six Weeks

2011-07-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

Today you get a two-for-one. Because she looks so sweet here...
...but immediately after I took that one, she got all excited and I caught her smile on camera for the first time!
Ugh. She's so cute I can't stand it sometimes.

Ha! Boob.

2011-07-06T09:01:00.003-07:00

Today my Facebook news feed was full of posts about the haboob that swept through the valley last night. Since I was there and witnessed the craziness for myself--and since everything outside is covered in a thick coat of dirt this morning--I had a pretty good idea of what haboob might mean. Still, I wanted to look it up because it's not something I'd ever heard of before and because I'm a word nerd like that.

haboob [huh-boob] (noun) a thick dust storm or sandstorm that blows in the deserts of North Africa and Arabia or on the plains of India

The encyclopedia says that haboobs frequently occur along the southern edge of the Sahara in the Sudan.

Good to know I'm living in a place with similar weather patterns to one of the most God-forsaken places in the entire world.

To see what it looked like from the air, go here.

To see what it looked like from the ground, go here.

Mila Monday: Five Weeks

2011-07-04T19:09:00.002-07:00

Today Amelia is celebrating that she is free to sport a greasy old man comb-over, crossed eyes, and a fantastic double chin. Happy Independence Day, all.

(She was making faces at David and I just couldn't help myself.)

One Month

2011-06-30T13:05:00.002-07:00

When I was little, I had two pink stuffed elephants named Foo and Bagoo. Although they were identical, I could always tell them apart. I loved those little guys. At some point Bagoo got lost, along with Frank, my beloved bald Cabbage Patch doll, but I still have Foo.

My sister, remembering how much I loved those elephants, made a matching pair for Miss Amelia that look a great deal like my original set. Such a sweet gift! And they're perfect for using as a point of reference to see how much she grows each month.

I love how her crazy hair makes it look like she is jumping. Silly girl.

I am the Pie-Maker

2011-06-29T16:02:00.006-07:00

I've been singing this song from Little Shop of Horrors all afternoon. Why? Partly because that movie rules and Ellen Greene is the bomb, but mostly because "I cook like Betty Crocker/and I look like Donna Reed." Or something like that anyway.

David asked me to make some pies for him to take on his last day of work as a sort of peace offering. He only worked there for a couple months, after all, and his coworkers were kind of amazing, so he feels kind of bad leaving. So I spent the afternoon making pies. From scratch. Wearing an apron. Tending to the baby. Laundering cloth diapers. You know, 1950's housewife type things. Except I'm all unshowered and totally wearing maternity pants. Don't judge. I could put on a dress and some heels but Amelia would probably just barf on them and then where would I be? Overdressed and smelling like baby barf. That's just unnecessary.

Anyway, back to the pies. I really really really like making pies. Not only did I inherit the easiest, most delicious pie crust recipe from my grandmother, but I get serious satisfaction out of rolling out crusts, cutting up fruit, trying new flavor combinations, and coming up with new ways to make old favorites even better. Pie-making is my zen garden.

Anyway, because they smell delicious, and because there are too many cupcake recipes in the blogotubes and not enough pie ones, and because I'm awesome like that, here's what I made and how to recreate it.

Caramel Apple Pie

Peel, core, and slice about 8 apples (You can use any kind but Granny Smith; I think they're too tart for this pie. I used Gala this time because that's what was at Safeway.) into bite sized pieces. Add the following to your apples: 1/4 cup of lemon juice, 1/4 cup of flour, a heaping 1/3 cup of brown sugar, and cinnamon and/or nutmeg to taste. I use both spices but I know some people don't like cinnamon (Ahem, Lydia) and the pie is still great without it.

In a large skillet, melt four tablespoons of butter. Stir in the apple mixture and cook, stirring frequently until the juices and melted butter begin to thicken.

For the record, I just cut my apples directly into the skillet, dumped in the rest of the ingredients (which I don't really measure but I'm giving you approximations because "some" means different things to different people), tossed in the butter, and cooked it from there. You have to wash fewer dishes if you skip that extra bowl.

Pour the caramel apple mix into an uncooked prepared pie crust. Top with another crust (I like to make a rough lattice top crust for apple pies) and seal the edges (I use this method but with my pinkie instead of my thumb). Bake.

Raspberry & _____ Pie

For Thanksgiving, I made a version of this pie with raspberries three different kinds of pears. This time I used peaches. It would probably be good with plums or apples too. Whatever your preference--or what's in season--the process is essentially the same:

Peel and slice the fruit into a large bowl. Add raspberries. Stir in sugar and tapioca. Add spice if you want, but I prefer just the natural fruit flavors.

The amounts on this are up to you. I use lots of raspberries because they are David's favorite, but to compensate for the tartness you have to add more sugar. With pears, there is less juice so I only used a couple tablespoons of tapioca. The peaches I used were a little overripe so they were extra juicy; I used nearly half a cup of tapioca to ensure that the pie would thicken nicely and not be all runny when cut. The goal is to have enough filling to mound slightly in an uncooked prepared pie crust. For this particular pie, that meant six large peaches and about a pint of raspberries.

Pour into bottom crust. Top with another crust. Bake. Eat. Enjoy.

*

Some thoughts on pie crust:

Don't use store bought crust. If you're going to make a pie, do it right and make the crust yourself. That said, I know it's hard to find a good pie crust recipe and to have it turn out well, but I'm not sure I want to share mine. It's kind of fun to have a "secret family recipe" that everyone loves and asks for but that stays secret. Is that mean of me? At any rate, I hope you are able to find a good crust recipe. I hear Martha Stewart's pate brisee is fairly simple and delicious.

*

Some thoughts on baking:

I have a hard time pinning down exact temperatures and baking times. For one, my oven is all kinds of wonky. It is hotter in the back than in the front, and I'm pretty sure it runs hotter than it should in general. It makes baking things evenly a little difficult for me. I baked these particular pies at 375 for about 45 minutes each and they look perfect, so maybe I've found the right combo of time and temp. You want to be sure you don't go too hot, because then the top crust will get burny and the bottom crust will still be soggy, but you don't want to have to bake the pie too long, because then the filling will start to dry out instead of getting bubbly and juicy. Good luck figuring out what works best in your oven. Again, Martha Stewart is usually a good guide; just find a similar pie recipe on her site and follow those baking instructions.

Also, as a final note, I loosely cover the edges of my pies with foil for the first 30 minutes of baking. This prevents those edges from burning before the rest of the pie is finished cooking. If you take them off with 10-15 minutes of baking left, the whole pie should be evenly golden when it is finished.

Good luck and happy pie-making!

What is with fashion trends these days?

2011-06-28T09:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Target,

I love you with a deep and abiding love. You know that. I appreciate that you often carry clothes that are both cute and affordable. You pretty much saved the day when I was pregnant and couldn't find anything to wear. But this time? I really must question your judgment.

Really, Target? Belted white onesies for adult women? Really?

This has potential to be a deal breaker. I hope we can move past it and still be friends.

Love, Jen

Image: target.com

Mila Monday: Four Weeks

2011-06-27T13:33:00.003-07:00

This is what Amelia looks like when she's just chillin' before lunch.

"What up, y'all? That's right, my cheeks are amazing. Jealous?"

This is what Amelia looks like when I put a camera in her face just before lunch.

"Mmmkay, what is that thing and why is it not food?"

And this is what Amelia looks like when lunch is postponed too long.

"I totally look like the Heat Miser when I'm upset, amiright?"

"I'm too much."

If I had a wish then it would be...

2011-06-23T09:06:00.005-07:00

...for a good night's sleep, a long hot shower, and some cake. Maybe some new shoes. My needs are pretty simple these days.

Yesterday was my birthday. It didn't feel much like a birthday.

That may have something to do with being awakened at four in the morning, getting urinated on mid-diaper change, and then having to change another diaper almost immediately when she pooped in the clean one.

Or maybe it was the exhaustion of trying to "sleep while the baby sleeps" when the baby would only take twenty minute naps and wanted to nurse in between each.

Or maybe it was the screaming and sobbing that resulted from trying to feed her and get her to sleep before dropping her off at grandma's so David and I could go out to dinner. (Seriously, what was that all about? She never screams like that. It nearly broke my heart.)

Welcome to new motherhood. Where every day is essentially the same, even the best-laid plans are thwarted by the needs of tiny persons, and everyone else gets to eat first.

And also you get to kiss this sweetness as much as you want.Yeah. Totally worth it.

(Incidentally, she did nap long enough for me to take a shower, straighten my hair, AND put on some makeup, which is kind of a rarity these days. Plus she fell asleep ten minutes after we left her at her grandma's and didn't wake up until long after we brought her home. David and I had a lovely dinner--and dessert, of course!--at a lovely restaurant. After we put Amelia to bed, he rubbed most of the stubborn knots out of my back and told me he was searching for a pretty dress to buy me. Not a bad birthday, all things considered.)

Mila Monday: Three Weeks

2011-06-20T18:36:00.002-07:00

Sweaty sleep hair, a lip blister from nursing, and a lovely case of baby acne. Maybe not her most photogenic moment...

David thinks she looks like Kim Jong Il in this picture.

Daddy/Daughter Faux-hawks

2011-06-19T10:45:00.003-07:00

Is there anything more attractive than a good-looking man cuddling a baby? I submit to you that there is not.

Happy Fathers' Day, love. I couldn't do this parenthood thing with anyone else.

Just rambling

2011-06-17T09:53:00.002-07:00

I keep telling myself, "Self, you really should blog about...something." And I'm right. Except that there's not much to blog about at the moment. I could tell you that Amelia's umbilical cord finally fell off and that she's stopped protesting so much when I bathe her, but I'm pretty sure only my mom cares about that kind of stuff. One of these days I'll get back into the habit of posting again and maybe I'll have interesting things to say. Until then you may have to settle for random thoughts typed out while Mila makes grunty noises in her sleep. Hope that's ok.

*

Today I straightened my hair for the first time in three weeks. (I've just been letting it air dry because inevitably by the time I get out of the shower and dressed, there's a hungry baby who needs me more than my blow dryer does.) I'd forgotten what a difference it makes in how I feel about my appearance. I'm not all frizzy and awkward! Huzzah! Also, man! My hair is LONG!

*

I have mixed feelings about my clothes right now. On one hand, it's really nice to be back in pants that don't have a stretchy panel that reaches my ribcage. On the other hand, I'm still quite squishy round the middle so I'm hesitant to wear anything remotely tight. On the other hand, why should I not mind wearing tight-ish shirts when my belly is enormous but feel self-conscious about it when my belly is comparatively flat? On the other hand, I have to wear things that are relatively easy to shift out of the way of a hungry baby. On the other hand, I'm not going out in public so I could probably just hang out in my skivvies all day. On the other hand, I don't want to be that mom. You know, the one who is cute until she births and then lives out her days in sweat pants and stained t shirts. On the other hand, this is too many hands and I am thinking about this way too much. It's just clothes. Yeesh.

That said, now that I'm not outgrowing and stretching out things at an astonishing rate, I really want to go shopping. Anyone want to come?

*

David and I have been watching Lost on Netflix instant play. We're somewhere in the middle of season 4 and I just have one thought: if I had to wait a whole week for a new episode, I wouldn't watch the show. There are just way too many unanswered questions and cliff hangers. I would get annoyed and just find something else to watch. As it stands, I'm annoyed with the show, but at least I'm not spending six years of my life waiting to figure out what the deal is with this crazy island.

*

We were going to be in Utah for the 4th of July, but then David got a new job and his start date is July 5th, so it looks like that's a bust. It's just not worth driving 11 hours to spend less than 48 hours there and come right back home. Alas. Maybe sometime this fall...

On the bright side, though, David's really excited about this job. And yes, I know he just started his other job less than three months ago. This was an opportunity he couldn't pass up, though. Should be much less paper-pushing and more actual prototype engineering, which is what he loves doing. Here's hoping it turns out to be as great as it promises to be.

*

I bought a "locally grown" cantaloupe when I went to the grocery store on Monday and let me tell you what, it was maybe the best thing I've ever eaten. My train of thought while munching on it the other day went like this: Man, this cantaloupe is amazing. We should totally have a garden so we can eat "locally grown" produce all the time. I may never eat imported food again. "I'm never gonna dance again..." At which point I started laughing because that is a weird song to start singing to yourself as you eat cantaloupe.

*

Aaaand Grunty McGrunterson is waking up and it sounds like she's going to need a diaper change. Good thing she's so cute that I don't mind too much.

Mila Monday: Two Weeks

2011-06-13T12:43:00.003-07:00

She does not like to have her arms swaddled. Not at all.

I made a person.

2011-06-07T10:23:00.005-07:00

It's been a week now since my transformation from Jumbo Jen to Mila's Mama and I'm still processing the weird wonderfulness of it all. And really, I'll probably never fully understand how my body--my body!--managed to make and squeeze out and now feed this little person. It doesn't matter how much you know about human biology; when you really think about it, reproduction is bizarre and amazing and...sublime. I look at my little girl and am simply astounded that she exists.

Since some of you probably want to know the details, here they are.

Amelia was born at 10:40 AM on Monday, May 30th, one day after her due date. She weighed in at 8 pounds 13 ounces and was 21 1/2 inches long. Her first order of business upon entering the world was to poop all over me. I've since forgiven her.

For now, our days and nights consist of eating and sleeping and eating and sleeping. Sometimes we stare at each other. It's incredibly exciting. It's also pretty much the best thing ever.

Mila Monday: One Week

2011-06-06T17:44:00.003-07:00

She has her daddy's hair.

Amelia Blythe

2011-06-03T11:49:00.000-07:00

Squishiest, most kissable cheeks ever. She makes me all swoony.