Jibber jabber

Here are some recent gems from our favorite little comedienne.

After biting her lip and bursting into tears:
Me: "Are you okay?"
Her: "Yeah."
Me: "Is your lip going to fall off?"
Her: "No, it's stuck on dere. Why did Jesus put glue on it and stick it on dere?"

Singing to Margot to the tune of "Let It Go":
"You are a baby, and you crawl around, and you are not biiiig...but dat never boddered you anyway."

Driving past a local nursery:
Her: "Dat's da punkin patch!"
Me: "Sometimes it is. It's a nursery."
Her: "A nursery? What's a nursery?"
Me: "It's where they grow plants and trees for people to come buy. In the fall they will have pumpkins and in the winter they will have Christmas trees."
Her: "And we can buy one?!?"
Me: "Sure!"
Her: "A great big beautiful glorious Christmas tree! I'm so excited!"

At bed time:

Me: "Good night. I love you."

Her: "I love dose Popsicles."
Me: ...

When she jumped into my lap one day:

Me: "Ugh! Do you smell like pee? Why do you smell like pee?"

Her: "I do smell like pee. Because I ate peas! Last night!"
Me: ...

Playing with a shoelace and a pot holder (I promise we have real toys):
Her: "I made a apron. Would you like to try it on?"
Me: "Sure."
Her: "Your nipples go right dere."
Me: ...

Making up yet another (this time slightly terrifying) song:
Her: "Green and yellow. Green and yellow. Pink and blue and the end of the world."
Me and David: !!!  

You guys. What am I going to do with this child?